11
0圣诞前夕
作者： F. 斯科特 · 费兹杰拉德
编译：嘉炜
我们的支队第二天出发前往了米尔斯营，但我终究没有去法国。我们在长岛度过了寒冷的一个月，戴着钢盔上了一辆运输车，然后又出发了。
再也不会有战争了。我错过了战争。
当我回到塔尔顿时，我尝试着离开军队，但我仍有一个常备军任务，这花费了我的几乎整个冬天。厄尔·舍恩是第一批被遣散的军人之一。他想找到一份好工作，“趁时机还不错”。艾莉没有明确表态，她怎么看待他直接找工作的问题，但他们之间仍有一个共识，那就是他会回来的。
到今年1月，占据这座小城长达两年之久的军营，由于逐步解散正开始衰落。只有持续不断的焚化炉的气味，让人想起了那些过往的人事和喧嚣。那些正规军官同样因为错过战争而心怀不满，同时，他们的生活则仍然痛苦地集中在已与战争无缘的指挥部的建设上。
现在塔尔顿的年轻人开始从世界的各个角落汇涌归来了——有些人穿着加拿大的制服，有的杵着拐杖，还有一部分人则失去了手臂。刚回来的一个营的国民警卫队，正在大街上列队游行以缅怀逝者，然后慢慢的解散并告别了属于他们自己的传奇。他们前往当地商店的柜台，出售着那些过往相关的物件和故事。只有很少的几位身着制服和晚礼服军官和姑娘们，糅合着音乐和夜色，出现在乡村俱乐部的舞会上。
就在圣诞节前的一天，比尔·诺尔斯突然就回来了，并且出人意料的在第二天又离开了塔尔顿——不是他给艾莉表明了自己的最终决定，就是艾莉终于下定决心了。我有时会在她不忙着照顾萨凡纳和奥古斯塔退伍归来的英雄时看到她，同时我觉得自己像个不受关注的幸存者，我确实如此。她在等厄尔·舍恩，而且内心里充满了无限的不确定性，所以她不愿意谈论这件事。在我最终退伍的前三天，厄尔来了。
Our detachment started for Camp Mills next day, but I didn't go to France after all. We passed a cold month on Long Island, marched aboard a transport with steel helmets slung at our sides and then marched off again. There wasn't any more war. I had missed the war. When I came back to Tarleton I tried to get out of the Army, but I had a regular commission and it took most of the winter. But Earl Schoen was one of the first to be demobilized. He wanted to find a good job "while the picking was good." Ailie was noncommittal, but there was an understanding between them that he'd be back.
By January the camps, which for two years had dominated the little city, were already fading. There was only the persistent incinerator smell to remind one of all that activity and bustle. What life remained centered bitterly about divisional headquarters building, with the disgruntled regular officers who had also missed the war.
And now the young men of Tarleton began drifting back from the ends of the earth--some with Canadian uniforms, some with crutches or empty sleeves. A returned battalion of the National Guard paraded through the streets with open ranks for their dead, and then stepped down out of romance forever and sold you things over the counters of local stores. Only a few uniforms mingled with the dinner coats at the country-club dance.
Just before Christmas, Bill Knowles arrived unexpectedly one day and left the next--either he gave Ailie an ultimatum or she had made up her mind at last. I saw her sometimes when she wasn't busy with returned heroes from Savannah and Augusta, but I felt like an outmoded survival--and I was. She was waiting for Earl Schoen with such a vast uncertainty that she didn't like to talk about it. Three days before I got my final discharge he came.
