每个人都拥有着不同的人格特质,但我们对于这些特质,它从何而来、以及它们将如何影响人生抉择似乎知之甚少。为什么我们会敏感内耗?为什么有些人职业发展更顺利,而有些人会受挫?为什么我们难以理解自己和他人?为什么我们难以找到兴趣和激情?为什么我们感到空虚?为什么我们难以和他人建立深入的关系?为什么我们难以改善这些让我们感到不舒服的状态?
我们还会通过42位美国总统的政治表现,来具象化的解释这些人格特质将会给我们带来的影响,为什么有些总统会被认为富有人格魅力、更擅长于说服公众?为什么有些总统更容易陷入弹劾?为什么有些总统能赢下多数票,而有总统些虽然一样拥有难以估量的权力,却仍然不被认为是历史上举足轻重的人物?这些差异将会帮助我们更好的理解我们自己,更好的发掘自己的潜能。
这期播客我想用自恋作为理论框架,和大家一同探索我们自己和自己的关系。
时间线:
开头 - 0:17
什么是自恋 - 4:45
自恋的成因 - 11:33
认知失调 (Cognitive Dissonance) - 15:16
自恋的美国总统与其政治表现 - 19:26
成长环境导致个体的元认知缺陷(meta-cognitive deficits)- 25:57
身份认同障碍(Identity impairment)与自恋受损(Narcissistic injury) - 30:39
自体客体(self-object) - 37:11
真假自体 - 45:54
情绪黑洞与空虚 - 50:49
成长环境的诅咒 - 54:37
欢迎通过邮箱联系我们:brainopener2023@gmail.com
参考文献(部分):
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我们的不自爱所制造的痛苦感受为了寻求安抚,令自己也变成了自恋的人,幻想完美自我,追求外界正反馈;以前我觉得自己并不是一个完美主义者,渐渐发现我很难在内心承认我有不好的一面,不好的时候,责怪自己以前好像是有一些令人觉得羞耻的事情,不去接纳、爱那个有错误的自己,这何尝不是一种完美主义呢?
而主播所说的理论又在此跳脱、延伸;对所谓灵魂伴侣的反驳,是过度的将别人作为自己的自我课题,我们应该尊重另一半要有自己的需求和想法;消费主义的桎梏,以外物作为自己情绪变换的准则,而放弃以自我的感受为中心……听到这些我就在想不满足自恋我们应该做什么呢:做自己!尽管做自己或许会带来对方不好的看法,只要我有尊重别人的边界,做自己就要比获取别人的认同更加重要。不过更可悲的是,我不能一直做自己擅长、轻松的事,或许我应该去爱上我所要做的事。
自恋所伴发的自卑问题相对而言是更难改变的吧,感受与想法是相伴而生的,它们早以根植于潜意识当中;外在是随机偶然的世界,这种不稳定的反馈也为自以为的不足提供环境。人皆会追求与朋友亲和等各种心理需求,这是天生的,不可不接受,只是你越重视什么,什么就越分解你的自我课题,自我的追求是不是困住一个人的鸟笼呢,鸟笼里的鸟被困在里面却又好像是自由的。