155
0Hey guys, welcome back to the podcast. Today I wanna chat about something we all kinda stumble over every single year: figuring out what we actually want. Not the stuff we think we should want—like that fancy promotion everyone’s hyped about, or the perfect vacation that’s all over xiaohongshu —but the things that make our hearts go “oh, that’s the good stuff”.
Let me start with this little trick I do every January, okay? I grab a notebook, or even just my notes app, and I ask myself three super simple questions—no overthinking allowed. First one: What made me light up last year, even for five minutes? It could be something tiny, like the morning I skipped my alarm and just sipped coffee while watching the sun come up, or the night I cooked a terrible pasta dish with my best friend and we laughed so hard we cried. Those little sparks? They’re clues. Last year, mine was every time I took my dog for a walk after work and didn’t check my phone once—just listened to the birds and felt the wind on my face. Turns out, I crave that quiet way more than I crave a packed social calendar.
Second question: What drained me so much I didn’t even have energy to watch my favorite show? Be honest here—this isn’t about blaming anyone, it’s about spotting the stuff that’s sucking the joy out. For me, it was saying “yes” to every work happy hour even when I was exhausted, or scrolling Douyin until my eyes hurt because I felt like I “should” be keeping up with trends. Once you write those things down, the opposite usually points you toward what you want. If draining things are overcommitting and mindless scrolling, then what you want is space and intentionality.
Third question, and this one’s my favorite: If I could do one thing this year without worrying about money, time, or what anyone else thinks—what would it be? Don’t hold back! Maybe it’s learning to play the guitar, or taking a solo road trip, or even just napping every Sunday afternoon without guilt. My answer? Writing a silly little story—nothing fancy, just for me. I used to think writing was “too much work” or “not productive enough”, but when I ask that question, it’s always the first thing that pops up. That’s how you know it’s real.
Here’s the thing, guys—figuring out what you want doesn’t have to be some big, dramatic life overhaul. It’s in the small, daily stuff. It’s choosing the coffee that tastes good over the one that’s “healthy”. It’s saying “no” to the plans that don’t excite you so you can say “yes” to the ones that do. It’s letting yourself want what you want, even if it’s not “impressive” or “grown-up”.
I used to think I wanted a promotion that would make my parents proud, but then I realized what I actually want is to leave work at 5 PM so I can garden in my tiny backyard. I thought I wanted a huge group of friends, but turns out, I’m happiest with two or three people who I can be real with. Those aren’t “small” wants—they’re my wants, and that’s what matters.
So this year, skip the 10-page vision boards with fancy fonts and expensive goals. Just ask yourself those three questions, and then follow the little sparks. The stuff that makes you go “that’s me”? That’s the good stuff. That’s what you actually want.
Thanks for hanging out with me today, guys. Go easy on yourselves—you’ve got this. Catch you next time!
