TED|让你的抱负照亮你而不是精疲力竭

Like many of you I was enamored by the hustle culture

和你们许多人一样，我也曾沉迷于“奋斗文化”。

as a VP of people and multi time HR executive

作为一名人力资源副总裁，也是多次担任高管的人力资源从业者。

I've LED many teams and companies through burnout

我曾带领许多团队和公司度过职业倦怠期。

I've also gone through it myself

我自己也经历过这种状态。

turns out a lot of us have

事实证明，我们很多人都有过这样的经历。

studies show that at least 1 in 4 employees globally

研究显示，全球至少四分之一的员工

have experienced burnout

经历过职业倦怠。

burnout sucks

职业倦怠糟透了。

if you know you know

懂的人自然懂。

but you know what's worse

但你知道更糟的是什么吗？

it's dimming your light and your ambition

它会让你的光芒和雄心黯淡下去。

you see your ambition is a very special gift

你要知道，雄心是一份非常特别的礼物。

it's that firing you that keeps you aspiring for more

是这份动力推动你渴望更多，

and pushes you to your fullest potential

激发你发挥全部潜能。

I believe with the right tools

我相信，只要有正确的方法，

you can nurture your ambition

你就能培养自己的雄心，

and avoid burnout

避免职业倦怠。

this all starts

这一切都始于

with learning to set and maintain your boundaries

学会设定并坚守自己的边界。

within work life and your relationships

在工作生活和人际关系中。

now boundaries like kind of have a bad reputationright

如今，“边界”这个词名声不太好，对吧？

some people think of them as an excuse to work less

有些人认为这是偷懒的借口，

others

还有些人

as a reason to say no to everybody and everything

把它当作拒绝所有人和所有事的理由。

and some even believe they minimize your dreams

甚至有人认为这会让你的梦想缩水。

but boundaries are actually what empower you to domore

但边界其实能赋予你力量，让你做得更多，

and do it better

做得更好。

boundaries give your ambition a sense of rhythm

边界能让你的雄心拥有节奏，

and pace

和步调。

so you can create what I call sustainable ambition

这样你就能打造出我所说的“可持续的雄心”。

so what's the secret sauce

那么，秘诀是什么呢？

how do we effectively set boundaries

我们该如何有效设定边界？

well it starts with this hard truth

首先要接受这个残酷的事实：

you can't do everything and avoid burnout

你不可能事事都做，还能避免职业倦怠。

I paint the picture for you

我给你描绘一个场景：

it's four weeks away from that big deadline

离那个重要的截止日期还有四周，

you have mouths to feed a home to maintain

你要养家糊口、打理家事，

workouts to attend

还要坚持锻炼。

and then boom

然后突然，

the inconvenient thing happens

麻烦事来了。

your child is sick you're rushing to the vet

孩子生病了，你要赶去看医生，

or the worst you receive bad news that rocks you

或者更糟，你收到了让你崩溃的坏消息。

you're now sitting there

此刻你坐在那里，

in this predicament of trying to figure out

陷入这样的困境：纠结着

how am I gonna do it all

我怎么才能把所有事都做完？

well guess what you're not

但事实是，你做不到。

before you can even begin to tackle your goals

在你开始实现目标之前，

you have to make peace with the reality

你必须接受一个现实：

that you can't do and be everything

你不可能什么都做、什么都顾全，

especially in these moments of the unknown

尤其是在这些充满未知的时刻。

pushing yourself to the point of unsustainability

把自己逼到无法持续的地步，

is an extremely toxic cycle

是一个极其有害的循环。

and unsustainability and unrealistic expectations

而无法持续和不切实际的期望，

are exactly where burnout starts

正是职业倦怠的开端。

so let's talk about how you can create a system

所以我们来聊聊如何建立一个体系，

to support your ambitions

既能支撑你的雄心，

and your boundaries

又能守住你的边界。

first

首先，

you have to get crystal clear on your non negotiables

你必须清楚地明确自己的“不可协商之事”。

it's up to you to decide

这由你自己决定，

what tasks and what habits are essential for you

哪些任务和习惯对你来说是必不可少的。

when you hit those high pressure moments

当你身处高压时刻，

a non negotiable could be something like

“不可协商之事”可以是这样的：

meditating 10 minutes a day

每天冥想10分钟，

getting to your kids baseball game

去看孩子的棒球比赛，

or prioritizing that workout

或者优先安排锻炼时间。

as it does

生活总会这样，

life be life in and it'll throw you another curveball

总会给你抛出另一个难题。

and when it does

当难题来临时，

I want you to ask yourself

我希望你问问自己：

how am I going to prioritize my non negotiable

我该如何优先处理我的“不可协商之事”？

what is the trade off

需要做出什么取舍？

a trade off is typically something like

取舍通常是这样的：

rescheduling a social activity

重新安排社交活动，

canceling your golf lesson

取消高尔夫课程，

this one's a little controversial

这一点有点争议，

but maybe you're not watching Sunday Night Football

但也许你可以不看《周日橄榄球之夜》。

I know I know it's the fall season I know

我知道，现在是秋季，我知道。

at the end of the day

说到底，

we can't control

我们无法控制

all the things that are happening around us

身边发生的所有事，

but we can control how we react

但我们可以控制自己的反应。

so it's up to us to accept these trade off moments

所以，我们要接受这些取舍的时刻，

adapt and move forward

调整自己，继续前进。

the second step is becoming aware of what I call

第二步，要意识到我所说的

your time bank

“时间银行”的重要性。

now when you're frugal with your time

如果你节约使用时间，

you have more time for your ambitions

就会有更多时间去追求雄心，

and your non negotiables

去做那些“不可协商之事”。

and when you're frivolous with your time

如果你浪费时间，

you're running on that hamster wheel

就会像在仓鼠轮上一样，

from one thing to another to another to another

从一件事忙到另一件事，永不停歇。

so just like you would ponder a big purchase

所以，就像你会慎重考虑大额消费一样，

the next time somebody requests

下次有人请求你

your time or a commitment from you

占用你的时间或让你做出承诺时，

I want you to ask yourself

我希望你问问自己：

is this time worth spending

这些时间值得花吗？

is this feasible

这可行吗？

I like to ask myself

我喜欢问自己：