Vol.3 [全英] 3-step Guideline: Perceive, Know, Love 从零开始的爱你老己

🎙️ Introduction

Nighty nine, besties!

In this deeply personal solo Random Ramble, I reflect on the complicated reality of self-love—moving beyond cheesy advice and social media slogans to explore what it actually means to understand, accept, and care for yourself.

Blending philosophy, cultural observation, and first hand traumas, the episode examines questions like “What is the self?” and “How do we truly know ourselves?”

It critiques modern individualism, the paradox of identities, and the social atomization, while drawing on ideas from psychology and philosophy to unpack human behavior.

Ultimately, this episode is not a self-help book from an expert—but an honest journey from someone is still trying. Babysteps!

晚安晚安，bb们💤

这一期是一个非常私人、也有点“自我解剖”的单口。我聊「爱自己」这件事——不复制炼化社交媒体上泛滥的口号，全是洋鸡汤（？）。因为想要更诚实地去面对：我们到底该如何理解自己、接纳自己、以及真正地照顾自己。

在这一期里，我会把一些伪哲学思考、文化观察，还有一些亲身经历（情绪与创伤）揉在一起，试图回答一些很老但依然无解的问题：什么是“自我”？我们真的了解自己吗？

也会聊到当代的个人主义、身份标签的悖论，以及一种越来越明显的“社会原子化”状态。同时，也会借用一些心理学和哲学的视角，来拆解人是如何做决定、如何成为现在的自己的。

但这不是一本“励志书作家写的自助指北”。实则是一个还在进行尝试的人，一边困惑，一边前进（一边后退）。慢慢来，从认识自己开始，从0开始，从👶学步开始。

✨ Highlights

• Self-love beyond the aesthetic trend of a generation lost in algorithms

• Why self-love is foundational: You can't sustainably love others without first loving yourself.

• What is a “self”?

  • Freud’s id, ego, superego with criticisms~

  • A more hopeful perspective from Hegel: humans can grow beyond past actions

• Identity & labels: helpful but limiting: We contain multitudes

• The “ideal life” illusion
  A critique of the so-called “perfect normie life” (aka the traditional Western dream)

• Knowing yourself is the hardest work: We often study others (celebrities, idols) more deeply than we understand ourselves.

• The fear of being yourself: Tell me what to do! (Inspired by Fleabag)

• A 3-step framework for self-love Perception, Knowing, Caring/Loving

• Practical self-care tips:

  • Sleep well, eat well, exercise well (please stay hydrated)

  • Walk through the parks

  • Take as many breaks

  • Rewatch your favorite shows

  • Buy yourselves flowers

• The struggle with self-criticism & Progress over perfection

Healing isn't linear. Trust your body and enjoy the journey

• 自爱，不只是算法时代的一种审美趋势（以及我们这一代的迷失）

• 为什么自爱是基础：如果你无法好好爱自己，也很难长久地去爱他人

• 什么是“自我”？
○ 弗洛伊德的本我 / 自我 / 超我（以及它的局限）
○ 来自黑格尔的另一种可能：人是可以超越过去、持续生成的

• 身份与标签：有用，但也在限制我们——我们远比任何单一标签复杂

• “理想人生”的幻觉：对所谓“标准成功的人生赢家”（也就是经典西方叙事里的完美生活）的反思

• 认识自己，是最困难的：我们研究别人（偶像）的细致程度，往往远超对自己的了解

• 成为自己的恐惧“能不能有人告诉我该怎么活？”（灵感来源《Fleabag》）

• 一个关于自爱的三步法：感知 → 认识 → 照顾 / 爱

• 一点小小的自我关照：
○ 好好吃饭，好好睡觉，适度运动，多喝水（严肃听取《迷宫饭》的建议！）

○ 公园20min

○ 记得偷闲休息

○ 重看你爱的电视剧（谢谢Schitt's Creek为我续命）

○ 给自己买花

• 自我批评的困境 & 不完美的进展：修复从来不是一条大直道——享受过程，跟着感觉走

🎵 Music Guests

Intro Music by 山犬

Love Yourself cover by Jason Sudeikis

My Generation by The Who

Come to my rescue by My Name Is You

Watercolor Eyes by Lana Del Rey

We Can Change by Belinda Carlisle

Common People by Pulp

Residuals by Chris Brown

The Man by Taylor Swift

Complicated by Avril Lavigne

Power Of Two by Indigo Girls

Flowers by Miley Cyrus

IknowhowIfeel by Parcels

📷封面by山犬