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房子是生活的容器，是自我养育的花盆，我们都有自己喜欢的那一款，暂时拥有不了的时候，先松松土、加点营养液、把它挪到有阳光的地方，就已经很好了。
这一期，我们从住过的房子聊起。住过免费豪宅，也蜗居在快捷酒店。被北京看每都楼都是金钱符号、到英国终于租下一整个house。我们心里逐渐有了那个"梦中情房"的模样。
我们要的好像从来不是那套房子，而是住在里面那个舒服、妥帖、慢慢长开的自己。愿这一期，能让此刻正住在一个还不太满意的地方的你，松一口气。
不用急着搬家，为了房子背上太多压力，而是先从换一盏灯、擦一擦那件落了灰的置物架开始，慢慢画出属于自己的梦中情房蓝图。
本期主播：
至卉：生活在中国，注册营养师兼创业公司产品经理，职业上靠研究食物谋生，生活中靠“用嘴表达”解压，持续探索生活与自我的可能性。ENFJ射手，激情高昂，内心柔软。
翠翠：生活在英国，工科博士在读，生活方式试验爱好者，从南京初创公司到北京大厂再到英格兰校园，像河一样流出自己的人生路径。INFJ白羊，平淡内敛，一身反骨。
时间轴
Part 1 从小城的免费豪宅，到整租英国house：我们的住房编年史
我们的居住空间也是自我养育里很重要的一部分
至卉的迁徙：毕业免费豪宅→上海蜗居快捷酒店→回家与爸妈生活→精致单身公寓
翠翠的迁徙：跟爸妈住的便利生活→北漂被房租吓呆→英国租下一整个house
Part 2 承受度是会被撑大的：租房选择与心理成长
合租大 house 的奔溃瞬间——公用洗衣机的异味恶心到我
为了说服自己整租一个 house，认真写了一页纸的思想斗争
租房的选择和心理成长互相塑造
明明有了大空间，却缩在小角落："我还不敢、不配使用更大的空间"
为住房花钱，花了再去挣就好——"省着省着，窟窿等着"
Part 3 让房子越来越像自己：改造、养护，和一场百叶窗奇遇
工程师脑上线：把橱柜画成图纸，规划储物空间
从种子开始养的一屋子植物：牛油果、香料、能吃的菜，搭一个"可循环系统"
至卉的改造：测量、规划、分区，50平米样样俱全
划分区域，空间整洁，脑子好像也跟着整洁了
百叶窗奇遇：有些东西不是不好，只是缺乏养护，我们的脑子也一样
Part 4 我们要的从来不是那套房子，而是理想生活状态
至卉的梦中情房：大厨房、大阳台、江边与树荫
翠翠的蓝图：书房工作间、爱好角落、满屋植物，旁边一定要有电影院
房子的地段选择，通勤路上能看看小花，就已经足够美好
梦中情房，其实是想要一个"可以选择"生活圈的机会
不一定非要买房，实现理想生活状态有很多途径，因地制宜
房子是养育我们的花盆：挪不动就先松松土、挪到阳光下
本期提到的
王德峰 讲《道德经》——"人法地"，因地制宜地安排自己的生活
神秀偈"时时勤拂拭，莫使惹尘埃"（《六祖坛经》）
往期相关单集
19.野心 | 按自己的意愿过一生，从大胆说出“我想要”开始
17.以人为镜 | 从魅力男性身上，认出自己想长成的形状
05.一个人生活，喜忧参半的自我养育加速器
置顶图片扫码，解锁更多【养自己啊】深度内容
💬 粉丝群 | 节目更新，聊天交流，分享你的“养自己”瞬间
📖 公众号 | 未讲完的故事，主播专栏，文字版陪伴
About This Episode
This episode starts with the places we've actually lived — the five-room company flat in Zhenjiang that Zhihui had entirely to herself, the Beijing stretch when every apartment block started looking like a stack of banknotes, the empty rooms Cuicui didn't dare set foot in while flat-sharing in the UK — and works its way toward what our "dream home" really looks like. Somewhere in the talking, we realised: what we're after was never the house itself, but the version of ourselves who gets to live inside it — comfortable, settled, slowly unfurling.
The house is our plant pot. When you can't move it, loosening the soil, adding a little feed, and nudging it toward the light are already plenty. May this episode let you — if you're living somewhere that doesn't quite fit right now — breathe out a little. There's no rush to move. Start by changing one lamp, or wiping the dust off that one thing.
Your Hosts
Zhihui: Lives in China. A registered dietitian and product manager at a startup — she makes her living studying food, and unwinds by "expressing herself through her mouth" (eating and talking, in roughly equal measure), forever exploring what life and the self can become. ENFJ Sagittarius: bright and high-spirited on the outside, soft underneath.
Cuicui: Lives in the UK. An engineering PhD candidate and lifestyle-experiment enthusiast — from a Nanjing startup to a Beijing tech giant to a campus in England, she's carved out her own path the way a river finds its course. INFJ Aries: quiet and understated on the surface, with a stubborn streak of rebellion.
Timestamps
Part 1 From a Free Luxury Apartment in a Small Town to Renting an Entire UK House: Our Housing Chronicle
Our living space is also a vital part of self-nurturing.
Zhihui’s residential journey: Free luxury apartment after graduation → Cramped budget hotel in Shanghai → Living with parents back home → Exquisite single apartment
Cuicui’s residential journey: Convenient life living with parents → Shocked by Beijing’s rental prices as a migrant worker in the capital → Renting an entire house in the UK
Part 2 Resilience Grows With Experience: Rental Housing and Personal Growth
Breakdown moment of sharing a large house: The unpleasant odor from the shared washing machine made me sick.
I wrote a full page of self-persuasion to resolve my inner struggle before deciding to rent an entire house alone.
Our choices in housing and our mental growth shape each other mutually.
Even with a spacious living space, I still huddle in a tiny corner — I still feel unworthy and hesitant to embrace a bigger space.
It’s okay to spend money on housing; we can always earn it back. Saving excessively only leaves us with unforeseen losses.
Part 3 Make a House a Home: Renovation, Maintenance and a Serendipity with Blinds
Engineering mindset kicked in: I drew blueprints for cabinets to plan the storage space rationally.
A house full of plants grown from seeds: avocados, herbs and edible greens, building a self-sustaining mini ecological cycle.
Zhihui’s home renovation: Precise measurement, overall planning and functional zoning, making a 50-square-meter space fully equipped for all needs.
Zoning the space keeps the room tidy, and my mind feels organized too.
A serendipity with blinds: Nothing is inherently flawed; most things just lack proper maintenance — and the same goes for our minds.
Part 4 What We Truly Desire Is Never a House, but an Ideal Lifestyle
Zhihui’s dream home: A spacious kitchen, a large balcony, overlooking riverside scenery and lush shade trees.
Cuicui’s ideal living blueprint: A study and workspace, dedicated hobby corners, rooms filled with plants, and a cinema nearby.
When choosing a house location, a commute with glimpses of blooming flowers is enough to bring warmth and joy.
A dream home essentially means having the freedom to choose your own social and living circle.
Buying a house is not a must. There are various ways to achieve an ideal life, and we should adjust measures to local conditions.
A house is like a flower pot that nurtures us. If you cannot move it temporarily, loosen the soil and move it to the sunlight first.
Mentioned in This Episode
Wang Defeng's lectures on the Tao Te Ching — "man follows the earth", arranging your life to suit where you are
The Chan (Zen) verse "polish it constantly, let no dust settle" (Platform Sutra)
Related Episodes
Ambition | Living life on your own terms starts with daring to say "I want this"
People as Mirrors | Through charismatic men, recognising the shape we quietly want to grow into
Living Alone: a bittersweet accelerator for nurturing yourself
