窄门|Strait Is the Gate经典英文绘本

窄门|Strait Is the Gate

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每天五分钟听经典英文故事,读绘本,磨耳朵。一对少年把爱当作通往圣洁的路,一路克制与分离,直到彼此再也走不进对方的心门。

Today, Duoji is going to tell you the story of Strait Is the Gate, by the Nobel Prize winner André Gide

They had loved each other since they were children, and both families hoped they would marry

Yet the two of them made a pact

On the day the girl came down to dinner without her cross, the man would leave the next morning

He would not complain, and he would not say goodbye

In the end, she really did take off the cross

And yet, after he was gone, she searched for him the whole morning

If she couldn't bear to let him go, why did she still send him away

This pact began in a white house in Normandy

Jerome's father died young

In the holidays, his mother took him to his uncle's house

There he had two cousins, Alissa and Juliette

The younger one played and laughed with him, but it was the older sister he loved

In front of Alissa, he chose every word with care

One day, passing his aunt's bedroom, he saw a young officer making her laugh

He ran upstairs and pushed open Alissa's door

She was kneeling by the bed, her face covered in tears

Jerome couldn't yet understand her sorrow, but he already wanted to keep every hurt away from her

He held her, and kissed her forehead

Soon after, the aunt left home with her lover

That Sunday, the pastor spoke of the wide gate and the narrow gate

The broad road leads to ruin, he said

But the road to life is narrow and hard to walk

Jerome sat behind Alissa

He thought of the laughter downstairs, and of the room where she had wept

In his heart, the narrow gate slowly became Alissa's door

Only by giving up selfishness and holding himself back could he be worthy to enter

When the service ended, he even made a point of not going to her

He wanted to see her, yet he held himself back

That small ache, he took as proof of his love

They studied Latin together and read the same books

Holding her hand, he said that whatever he hoped to become, it was all for her

But Alissa answered that everyone must walk to God alone

He said, but the one who showed him the way was her

When his mother was very ill, Jerome asked her whether Alissa loved him too

Again and again she answered, yes, and she blessed them both

Later his mother died, and Alissa sent a letter through her father

She was sorry she had never said the words that would have comforted his mother

She told Jerome that she belonged to him more tenderly than ever

Jerome believed that once he finished his studies, they would marry

But when he asked to be engaged, Alissa refused

She wanted to stay with her father

She also said she couldn't marry before her younger sister

At Christmas, Juliette asked him straight out whether he knew whom her sister wanted her to marry

You, she said

Jerome burst out that it was ridiculous

She said she already knew what she had to do

A friend finally pointed it out

Juliette was the one who loved Jerome

In his view, the older sister was stepping aside for the younger

But back inside the house, they saw Juliette accept another man's proposal

Alissa begged Jerome to stop it

Her sister didn't love that man at all

Beside the Christmas tree, Juliette fainted

When she recovered, she still insisted on marrying soon

Later, the younger sister had children

She was busy with her husband's business and the household, and sent word through Alissa that she was well again

Little by little, Alissa admitted that Juliette was truly happy

Hope rose in Jerome again

Studying, traveling, serving in the army, he wrote to Alissa again and again

When he read a passage he wanted to share with her, he wrote an "A" in the margin, the first letter of her name

When Alissa received the gift books, she found his marks beside the lines she loved

She copied those poems into her letters, as if the two of them had read them together all over again

Yet when they truly met, they didn't know how to begin

One day, out walking, he took her hand

The day was hot, and they walked fast, so their palms slowly grew damp with sweat

Finding nothing to say, they finally let go

Afterwards Alissa wrote that they should not meet again

Yet in the same letter, she wrote that she had waited for him a whole morning

And once he left, she regretted saying nothing

From farther away, it seemed, she loved him more

Jerome suggested they stop writing for a while, and in spring return to the farm they knew so well

On the day they met again, she was dressed in white

She stood up, and her sewing slid to the floor

She held out both hands, laid them on his shoulders, and looked at him, smiling

This time it was Jerome who asked for a sign

Whenever she gave it, he would leave

Alissa chose the amethyst cross at her throat

The day she came down to dinner without it would be their last night

He promised

He would not complain, and he would not say goodbye

In the first few days, they trimmed the roses together, cutting the dead branches and tying up the living ones

With their hands busy, the silence no longer hurt

Each night, seeing the cross still there, Jerome felt a little more at ease

At last he brought it up

Since her sister was happy now, couldn't they be happy too

Alissa's face changed at once

She said, "Beside you, I am happier than I ever imagined But we were not made for happiness"

Jerome asked what a soul could choose that was better than happiness

Softly she answered, "Holiness"

He laid his head on her knees and wept

Without her, he said, he could never reach it

That night she wore no cross

At daybreak, Jerome left

Her letter came soon after

She had searched for him a whole morning, she wrote

She wrote that being together was too sweet, and that very sweetness made her uneasy

Yet he still believed that if he kept climbing, even the hardest road would lead him to her

When autumn came again, Alissa seemed a different person

Her hair was pulled tight against her head, and her clothes were dull and rough

The books they had read together were gone, replaced by religious pamphlets

He offered to read to her, but she said she was busy mending, and would not be able to listen

Before he left, they sat on the same old bench

Jerome spoke of his sorrow, and she answered, "You are in love with a shadow"

He was quick to argue back

This was the one he had always loved

How could she be a shadow

Alissa kept her head down, slowly picking a flower apart

She asked why he wouldn't admit that he no longer loved her as he once had

He said, "I have never loved you like this"

But she said the one he held on to now lived only in memory

One day, he would remember only that he had once loved her

Jerome left in despair

He even wondered whether he had placed her too high, and whether the woman before him was the way she had always been

For three years after that, they did not meet

When he returned to the farm, his uncle had died

Jerome wandered by the little gate of the kitchen garden, and suddenly heard Alissa call his name

She had come to wait for him here for several evenings now

She was terribly thin, and she carried the letters he had sent her long ago

She brought out the cross and asked him to keep it for a future daughter, as a keepsake of her

Jerome refused to take it

"Why not give it to her yourself" he asked

Alissa's lips trembled, and she couldn't speak

He caught her in his arms and kissed her lips

She leaned against him and closed her eyes, then begged him not to ruin their love

Jerome knelt before her

He had waited for her sister to marry

He had waited for her sister to be happy

He had thought she simply couldn't bear to leave her father

Now all of that was past

Why still not

Alissa said she had once imagined this love too high

Once they lived as man and wife, it would stop being perfect, and she couldn't bear that

He asked whether she had ever thought about what it would mean if they were never together

She said no

Never

At the little gate of the kitchen garden, she turned

She laid both hands on his shoulders and looked at him a while

Then she shut the gate and drew the bolt

Jerome wept outside for a long time, and never once could step in again

In less than a month, a letter from her sister arrived

Alissa was dead

She had gone alone to Paris, hiding her name and her address, and taken a room in a sanatorium

By the time the family found the place, she was already gone

The cross he had refused to take was on her neck, as she had wished

Then Jerome received the diary she left behind

At last he saw what those days he had thought he understood had been like in her heart

When her sister was happy, she felt sad, and blamed herself

Was it because that happiness didn't need her sacrifice

She asked herself whether she wanted happiness itself, or only the endless walking toward it

She decided she had taken up Jerome's whole heart and blocked his road to God

To let him go further, she had to make him stop loving her

She also wrote of the day he stood behind her reading, and how his breath and warmth made her rise in a hurry

That same night, her father looked at her lying on the sofa and said he seemed to see her mother again

She slept badly that night

Old memories rose up, as if she had done something wrong

But whichever book she opened, she could still hear Jerome's voice

She tried to write words that weren't like his, yet even in resisting him, she was still thinking of him

That autumn she asked herself whether he loved her a little less now

That was what she hoped for, and what she feared

She had never loved him like this

Sometimes she stopped believing her own reasons for fleeing, and yet she still fled

On the night of their last parting, she could neither sleep nor pray

She went back into the dark garden, back to the gate where she had left him outside

She opened it again, hoping he would return

She called out, and groped through the dark

Then she went back inside to write to him

She wrote, tore it up, and wrote again

Slowly the day broke, and the first sounds came from the farm

That letter was never sent

More than ten years later, Jerome saw Juliette again

She asked him to be godfather to her youngest daughter

The child was named Alissa too

She asked him why he still hadn't married

He said there were some things he did not wish to forget

In a small room filled with her sister's old furniture, Juliette asked whether a love without hope could really stay in the heart so long

Did the days blow over it, day after day, without ever putting it out

Jerome said yes, it could

Dusk slowly drowned the furniture

Juliette stood up, then sank back down without strength, her hands over her face

Jerome couldn't tell whether she was crying

Just then, the maid came in carrying a lamp