Transcript: During the Spring Festival, I met a few relatives and cousins. Through our interactions, I was shocked by how pervasive learned helplessness is. I have a relative who graduated from a first-tier university a year ago. He said no employer wanted him. I asked, “Did you go to any job fairs?” He said no. I asked, “Did you revise your résumé?” He said no. I tried to help him improve his résumé, but it had only two lines. He said he had nothing to write because he had almost no projects or internships during college. I suggested that he could try to get a few internships now. He said no one would want him because he had already graduated. He also refused to go to interviews because he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to answer the questions. I told him he could prepare in advance. If he failed an interview, he could reflect on what went wrong, improve, and try again. Or he could develop small applications at home for fun, or even imitate his dad and start a small business. He shook his head. This is not a special case. I have met several relatives who fall into the same trap of thinking. Their conclusion is that there is nothing they can do — and they don’t even want to try. This mentality fits into what psychologists call learned helplessness. You may have heard of the famous experiment in which three groups of dogs were placed in cages and given electric shocks at intervals. One group could press a lever to stop the shocks and escape. Another group pressed a lever that didn’t work, and eventually gave up trying to escape. Some psychologists believe learned helplessness comes from childhood neglect or repeated discouragement. Others argue that helplessness is an automatic human tendency, and that hope is something that must be learned. To break learned helplessness in dogs, researchers placed them in a completely new environment and physically moved their legs. Eventually, the dogs realized they could escape the cage. This suggests that for people with learned helplessness, create a new enviornment for yourself. Get yourself moving. Leave the places that trapped you. This suggests that for people with learned helplessness, creating a new environment matters. Get yourself moving. Leave the places that have trapped you. Every outcome in our lives is the result of many factors, both internal and external. We cannot attribute all success solely to internal factors like ability, effort, or attitude. Likewise, we cannot attribute all failure entirely to external factors like unsupportive parents, friends, or environment. Of course, many things are out of our control. But there are always things within our control. For example, when I was obese, I blamed the abundance of temptations in the world and believed I had a genetic predisposition to obesity, so I thought I couldn’t control it. But once I switched to a natural diet and started running three kilometers every day, my weight returned to normal. It has remained healthy for more than fifteen years. There is always something we can do. We are not victims of our lives. I like the Chinese proverb: 尽人事，听天命 do your best and leave the rest to fate. When you look back, you will have no regrets.

Transcript: You’ve made a mistake, and you feel like the whole world is watching you. You imagine your relatives and friends laughing at you, and you feel like you’ve lost face. If you believe this is true, you may be falling into a cognitive bias called the spotlight effect. In social psychology, we tend to assume that other people are paying far more attention to us than they actually are. Let’s say you have acne on your face. You walk out onto the street and feel anxious, thinking everyone will notice it. But is anyone really paying attention? To be honest, most young people in China are myopic. Many people can’t even see clearly. And even if they do notice, they usually don’t care. The same is true for appearance anxiety. You may think everyone is focusing on how you look, but in reality, you are outside their visual focus. Do people care about you as much as you think they do?Are you Lady Gaga or Taylor Swift, with paparazzi following you? Of course not. People who fall into this mentality are often psychologically immature. When we are babies, the world revolves around us. Our needs are the center of our family. But as we grow up, if we still think that way, we fall into egocentrism. That’s where the spotlight effect comes from. Many of us unconsciously believe that we are the center of the universe and that all the spotlight is shining on us. If you’ve spent some time in public, you’ll notice that most people do not care about your business. There are even extreme cases where employees passed away in office cubicles and their colleagues didn’t notice for days. What does that mean? We are not the center of the universe. People are busy with their own lives, their own anxieties, and their own problems. A mature person breaks free from this“baby giant” mentality. We are not the center of the world. In reality, only a very small number of people truly care about you: maybe your parents, siblings, or a few close friends. And even they have their own lives to live. So turn off the spotlight you’ve placed above your head, and begin to live for yourself. Let go of your ego. When you’re interacting with people, shift your attention outward. Forget about your own image. But focus on what you can help with. Focus on the meaningful work in front of you. For example, I’m a passionate public speaker. When I’m on stage, I don’t feel nervous or pressured. Because the presentation is not about me — it’s about them. I’m there to share ideas that transform my audience's lives. Move your focus from protecting your own image to creating value for others, and the spotlight effect just goes away. That’s when freedom begins.

越来越多人把朋友圈锁进 “3 天可见”，让主页变得一片空白，但其实，这方小小的空间，正是你最低成本、最鲜活的个人简历与作品集。 转录文字 Transcript: What I find interesting is that a lot of young people have stopped posting on social media. They only allow others to see about 30 days of updates on their WeChat Moments. Of course, this definitely makes sense—some people want to keep their lives private. But I think, as long as you present yourself to your friends either in person or online, you’re going to show your portfolio. So your posts on WeChat Moments are a form of portfolio. As someone working in the media industry, the first lesson we learned is to build our portfolio. Building a portfolio is the easiest way to help people understand who you are, what you do, what you care about, and what you can offer them. So social media posts aren’t just about your private feelings or daily life—they’re about what you can offer to the world, and what your friends or people out there can resonate with. If you never post anything on WeChat Moments, people won’t get to see your talents. Because it takes time to get to know someone, and for most people, time is their most valuable asset. They definitely won’t spend hours getting to know someone they just randomly come across. So if you can consistently post your ideas, thoughts, products, or work on your WeChat Moments, people will immediately get a sense of your personality, your contributions, and your work ethic. I actually learned a lot from my friends—artists, designers, actors, entrepreneurs, and IT professionals. They usually share their ideas before launching their products, get feedback from their friends, finalize the first version, and then refine those products later. I think this is a really smart way to leverage collective wisdom. Sometimes you get so immersed in your own ideas that you lose sight of what the market really needs, and you have no clue about your audience or users. So the best approach is to post your work, reach out to them, gather their insights and feedback, and use that to improve your products. This concept is actually called the Minimum Viable Product (MVP) test, and it’s widely used in Silicon Valley and by many business leaders. The best way isn’t to wait until your product is perfect, but to tap into collective wisdom and find people who can help you refine it. By sharing more of your ideas, you’ll also attract the right friends—those who truly appreciate your values, work, and personality. You can build rapport and trust with these people, and they’ll stay with you throughout your life. Of course, I’m not encouraging you to post randomly about your private feelings, lash out on social media, or argue with people for no reason. I’m saying you should put your best ideas out there. You can share your thoughts in progress. If we think of all ideas as a market, you’ll notice that the most mediocre ones usually stand out. Why? Because a lot of smart people don’t post. Some are unwilling to share their values—they’re afraid their ideas will be criticized. They don’t believe in themselves or their values because they think they’re not 100% ready. But I believe the best ideas will eventually shine through. And finally, here’s the most important question: If you never put your ideas out there, who will benefit from them? It’s a huge loss to the world—you’re so talented, you have so many great ideas, and the world deserves to know your wisdom, your contributions, and your values. Right?

研究发现，中国人平均 IQ 约 108，本就是极具智力优势的群体！但为什么很多人仍不自信？其实那些高成就者，接触后会发现他们未必比你聪明，核心差异在于他们在热爱的领域持续深耕、积累了足够多的经验。世界本就是由不比你聪明的人搭建的，别浪费自己的智力天赋，放下自我怀疑，专注深耕、勇敢行动，你也能成为想成为的人～ 音频转录文字 Transcript： If you’re not confident in yourself, this video (podcast) will change your mind. Steve Jobs once said: “Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it. You can influence it. You can build your own things that other people can use.” As a young journalist, I’ve had the privilege of working with and interviewing successful people from all walks of life. What I’ve noticed is—of course, they’re kind, and they’re good at what they do—but they’re not necessarily smarter than you, nor do they have a higher IQ. The real difference is that they invested more time in what they were passionate about. They consistently did the things they loved, gained more experience, and gradually became professionals or experts in their fields. I’m not the only one who’s noticed this. Barack Obama recently gave a speech that also supports this observation: “This idea that somehow they are so special, so smart, so sophisticated? Not really. Many of the people holding powerful positions in the White House were no smarter than the majority of people. They simply felt they belonged there. They were exposed to politics, and they were confident in themselves.” Basically, as a Chinese person, you can do most jobs in the world. Why? On average, Chinese people have an IQ of around 108. Asians, on average, have an IQ higher than 100. That means Chinese people—and Asians in general—are among the most intelligent groups in the world. So theoretically, that level of intelligence allows you to take on most professional responsibilities. You’re blessed with the intellectual capacity to master most skills you’re interested in. So you shouldn’t be afraid to seize the opportunities that come your way, or doubt yourself when learning something new—because you’re fully equipped with the ability and intelligence to learn, adapt, and grow. Most of my followers are avid readers, gifted kids, and ambitious students. And if you don’t step up and believe in yourself, the world will be run by people who are less capable than you—or to be honest, stupid people. Do you really want that to happen? Have you ever heard of the Dunning-Kruger effect? People who know the least about a subject often believe they’re the smartest, while those with some knowledge tend to doubt their own abilities. Only a small group of true experts have confidence levels that accurately match their competence. Remember: The world is run by people who are no smarter than you. So don’t give up your right to change the world, build the world, and make contributions to it. Trust yourself, and be brave enough to learn and create. Thank you for listening. I’m Summer Hailstones. Bye.

🎧 本期介绍｜随他吧：停止人际内耗的 4 个心法 很多人在人际关系里感到疲惫，并不是因为关系本身有多复杂， 而是因为我们太想控制别人的看法、反应和选择。 我们忍让、讨好、解释、自证， 希望被理解、被认可、被喜欢， 却在不知不觉中，把人生的主控权交给了别人。 这期播客，我想和你聊聊一本在北美广泛流行的书—— 《Let Them Theory》（随他吧）。 它提出了一个听起来很简单、却极其反直觉的观点： 我们大部分的痛苦，来自试图控制那些我们根本无法控制的人和事。 那该怎么办？ 答案只有一句话：Let them，随他去吧。 在这一期里，我结合作者 Mel Robbins 的真实人生经历—— 从中年失业、负债 80 万美金、长期焦虑低谷， 到重新站起来、建立事业、走向稳定与自由， 拆解她如何用一种更成熟的心态，走出人生的困局。 你将听到这期播客的 4 个核心内容： 01:55 为什么你不需要被所有人喜欢 05:48 嫉妒，其实是在提醒你人生真正想要的方向 08:06 你无法拯救任何成年人，也不该替他们承担后果 12:09 亲密关系不是改变对方，而是照见自己 这不是一集教你“变冷漠”的节目， 而是一种更清醒的选择： 把能量从别人身上收回来， 放在你真正能掌控的事情上。 如果你正在经历人际关系的困惑、 家庭关系的拉扯、 亲密关系里的反复内耗， 希望这期内容，能陪你安静地走一段路。 随他们去吧，活好你自己。

我坚持写了20年日记。从情绪垃圾桶，到人生错题本，再到人生蓝图，它成了我的精神支点，帮我找到了能力圈，矫正认知与行为模式，让写下的目标一一兑现。 写日记，不只是记录，而是在书写你想要的人生。 时间线： 00:55 初级日记：安全的情绪容器 01:52 中级日记：人生错题本 07:58 高级日记：普通人的口述史

I just turned 30 this year, so I sat down to look back at my 20s. This video is my honest recap of the four lessons that changed how I think about work, luck and myself — the things I hope every 20-something can learn a little earlier than I did. 00:11 Finding your relative advantage 01:24 Staying open to new things you don’t fully understand 02:57 Making decision for yourself 04:23 Keeping “useless” hobbies that carry you through hard times 🌱 If you’re in your 20sYou are not behind. You’re not supposed to have everything figured out.If one of these lessons resonates with you, tell me in the comments which one it is — or share one thing you hope more 20-somethings would learn earlier.

我们会一起分辨“内耗式比较”和“成长型比较”，学着把“好羡慕别人”变成“我也可以慢慢走到那里”，不再被比较拖垮，而是用比较，走向那个更喜欢的自己。

拖延症晚期？焦虑内耗没动力？你不是懒，而是大脑的D.O.S.E系统失调了！多巴胺、催产素、血清素、内啡肽——这四种关键神经递质，正是掌控你动力、情绪和专注力的核心开关。 本期视频为你深度拆解TJ Power英文原版《DOSE效应》，这套已帮助5万人提升50%专注力和精神能量的科学方法。无需痛苦自律，通过调节4个大脑开关： 01:06 多巴胺：戒断“快多巴胺”，重建持久内在驱动力 05:48 催产素：改善社恐、孤独感，提升安全感与自信 07:23 血清素：肠道健康直接影响情绪，简单饮食调理告别焦虑 13:25 内啡肽：用“适度挑战”激活天然止痛剂，获得平静愉悦 我将结合我十余年的生活习惯，分享具体可操作的“高能量体质”养成方案。从今天开始，让专注力和好状态成为自然而然的事！

从青春期熬夜发胖的 “死肥宅” 到彻底改变：15 岁那年我靠调整生活习惯瘦了 35 斤，之后 15 年始终坚持不熬夜、每天运动、拒绝超加工食品，现在 30 岁仍保持着 15 岁般的高能量状态。这些习惯不仅让我精力充沛，更让学业事业一路稳步提升。 视频里会拆解我的规律睡眠技巧、随时随地能做的运动方案、简单易执行的饮食原则，以及如何利用每天黄金 4 小时放大成长效率。只要你跟着做就能养出持久高能量，越活越顺～ 时间轴： 01:17 规律睡眠不熬夜 05:34 每天运动 08:44 不吃超加工食物 12:43 抓住每日巅峰4小时

多数人选择2倍努力，却困在原地打转；少数人设定10倍目标，反而走得更轻松。这本英文原版书《10x Is Easier Than 2x》，揭示了一个反直觉真相：看似更难的路径，反而更清晰、更高效。 这不只是商业策略，更是一种破除内卷、重塑人生选择的清醒思维方式。从专注优质客户的创业者，到不向低标准妥协的年轻人，书中大量真实案例让人重新思考： 为什么选择多数人认可、看起来容易的、低标准的路径，反而更辛苦？ 什么才是真正高杠杆的人生路径？ 你愿不愿意丢掉80%的现有思维和行动模式，换一个方向重新出发？ 本期视频，我将拆解书中核心概念，并结合我和我身边人的经历，一起聊聊：如何实现10倍的人生成长。 时间轴： 00:52 十倍目标比两倍更简单 06:13 设定更高的标准，实现十倍进步 11:35 培养富足心态

📌你是否总在关键时刻掉链子？考试手抖、面试大脑空白、演讲忘词…不是实力问题，而是输给了心理博弈。 🔥为什么你越想精准控制，失误反而越多？世界顶尖教练的《身心合一的奇迹力量》揭示：真正的瓶颈不在技术，而在你头脑里两个"自我"的内战。 ✨我啃完英文原版提炼出4个核心方法，帮你： 01:13 两个自我的较量 02:32 安抚胡思乱想的自我1 06:19 激活DNA里的自然学习力，进入“身心合一”状态 08:42 破解“越想赢越会输”魔咒 💡适用人群： 考试发挥不稳定的学生 渴望突破瓶颈的职场人 需要即兴发挥的演讲者/创作者 任何想摆脱“自我怀疑”枷锁的人 🎯看完这个视频你会明白：为什么“不在乎结果”的人反而实力爆棚？如何把紧张能量转化为超常发挥？

✨ 人生没有标准答案，但可以被设计！ ✨ 斯坦福15年爆款课《人生设计课》首度拆解8步核心方法，手把手教你从”迷茫内耗"到"主动发光"！ 无论你是20岁在十字路口徘徊，还是30岁想突破瓶颈，这套方法论已经帮助了全球100万人告别”将就人生”。 视频时间轴： 1. 一、设计人生的起点：找准问题 00:58 2. 二、构建人生指南针 02:58 3. 三、寻找方向：跟着能量和喜悦走 04:54 4. 四、打破单一路径思维 06:24 5. 五、设计三种人生蓝图 08:46 6. 六、原型实验：用小测试找到路径 09:58 7. 七、选择的智慧：做减法 11:45 8. 八、失败免疫力 13:45

在过去12年里，我读了400本书，30岁时收到了出版社的邀约，开始写人生的第一本书。在这个过程中，我深刻体会到阅读对人生的巨大价值。今天，我想和大家分享阅读如何成为人生最划算的投资，以及如何把书读“活”，让它真正改变你的人生。 阅读不仅能带来知识，还能帮助你在人生的岔路口找到方向，甚至解决那些看似无解的难题。如果你也想通过阅读实现自我提升，或者正在寻找读书的意义，这个视频或许能给你一些启发。 00:00 阅读推动我的人生 01:12 一、为什么读书是人生最划算的投资？ 02:43 二、阅读帮我们解决人生难题 03:50 三、学校教育是起点，自我教育是终身事业 06:00 四、读活书：采取行动，真正改变人生 07:34 五、书写行动：将成功经验复制到相关领域

权力，听起来像是高高在上的精英游戏，但其实它关乎每个人的未来。斯坦福大学的Jeffrey Pfeffer教授在《7 Rules of Power》中告诉我们：权力就像空气，无处不在。你以为远离权力争斗就能安稳？其实，不懂权力的规则，可能让你在不知不觉中失去机会。这本书揭示了权力的本质——它并不邪恶，而是实现梦想的中性工具。无论你是职场新人，还是渴望突破现状的普通人，掌握权力法则，或许能让你的人生从此不同。 本视频将带你走进这本书的世界，用生动的例子和深刻的洞察，帮你认识权力。别让权力成为你人生的绊脚石，而是让它成为你前进的助力！ 00:00 权力无处不在 01:55 摆脱自我束缚 06:51 打破常规 09:29 展现强大气场 12:26 打造强大个人品牌 15:17 使用权力，实现差异化