How to Find, Build & Maintain Healthy Romantic Relationships | Esther PerelHuberman Lab

How to Find, Build & Maintain Healthy Romantic Relationships | Esther Perel

Huberman Lab
126分钟 ·
播放数109
·
评论数2

In this episode, my guest is Esther Perel, a world-renowned psychotherapist, relationship expert, and bestselling author. She explains healthy romantic relationship dynamics and how to achieve them. The answer includes curiosity not just about the other person but, more importantly, about who we can evolve into through healthy relating.


Esther explains the fundamental differences and challenges in relationships formed at different stages of life. We also discuss relationship conflict and how to give and receive a true apology.

Additionally, we discuss fidelity, breaches of trust, reviving relationships, and tools for understanding your needs regarding love and desire in a relationship. The episode will help listeners understand the key elements to find, build, and revive deeply satisfying romantic relationships.


Access the full show notes for this episode at hubermanlab.com.


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Timestamps

00:00:00 Esther Perel

00:02:03 Sponsors: David Protein, LMNT & Helix Sleep

00:06:33 Romantic Relationships, Change & Self

00:11:18 Cornerstone vs. Capstone Relationships, Age Differences

00:16:53 Young vs. Older Couples, Dynamic Relationships

00:20:13 Identity & Relationship Evolution

00:26:00 Curiosity, Reactivity

00:30:29 Sponsor: AG1

00:31:59 Polarization, Conflict; Coherence & Narratives

00:38:21 Apologies, Forgiveness, Shame, Self-Esteem

00:45:00 Relationship Conflict

00:53:48 Sponsor: Function

00:55:35 Verb States of Conflict; Emotion, Narratives vs. Reality

01:00:10 Time Domains & Hurt; Caretaker & Romantic Relationships

01:08:03 Couples Therapy; Language & Naming

01:20:15 Sexuality in Relationships

01:26:20 Tool: Love & Desire, Sexuality

01:31:28 Infidelity, “Aliveness”

01:35:17 Intimacy, Abandonment, Self-Preservation

01:41:26 Erotic Blueprints, Emotional Needs

01:49:42 Tool: Repair Work, Relationship Revival; Sincere Apologies

01:59:30 Tool: Relationship Readiness

02:03:33 Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify & Apple Follow & Reviews, Sponsors, YouTube Feedback, Protocols Book, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter


Disclaimer & Disclosures

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展开Show Notes
ReneeMusic
ReneeMusic
2024.12.23
👍
李晓彤Alice
李晓彤Alice
2025.2.26
And that emotional reality that now may be somewhat imagined—and this is why it’s complicated—was once true.

What now is an internal truth once was what really happened. And that’s why we imagine, and this is how we interpret the dynamic.

The past was real. There was someone in the past who actually did this to me. But when you do this, I think of them. I bring those two things together. I collapse the past and the present. And that’s why I’m convinced this is what you’re doing to me too.

And so, how do you take somebody out of their physical, mental, and emotional past and ground them in the present so that they can consider that this person next to them is not doing to them what once was done to them?

This is one of those toughest nuggets because people are not aware that they are in their past. They are convinced that this is the present. It’s a collapse of time zones and realities.

It’s what sometimes makes it very challenging for us, especially in romantic relationships. Because there are only two relationships that mirror each other: the one we had with our first caretakers, mostly our parents, and the ones we have with our romantic partners.
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