BBC Ideas｜善良的非凡力量

The Extraordinary Power of Kindness

You might think about kindness as being this quite soft, fluffy, wishy-washy thing, but actually, it's really fundamental to how we connect with each other.

I think being kind is part of the purpose of being alive.

Back in 2011, I was sitting in a café, just enjoying a breakfast, when I looked up at a screen and there was a double-decker bus on fire in London. It was terrifying. It looked like civil war. And there was a very negative response to the riots that really upset me as well. I'd felt increasingly despairing about what felt like the enormity of the problems of the world. I didn't know what I could do.

(A few days later, Bernadette gave a stranger in a post office 50p for a stamp.)

And he was overwhelmed with gratitude, it was disproportionate to my tiny amount of time and money. But I thought, I did kind of put a smile on his face, that sort of did make a difference. So as I was going home, I concocted this foolhardy notion that I was going to try and do an act of kindness every single day for a stranger for a year. It was completely life-transforming.

It's one of the big paradoxes of kindness – that an act of kindness that is intended to benefit others actually had some positive consequences for yourself. There are patterns of activation in the brain which correspond to a boost to wellbeing. The reward pathways in the brain are activated when people are performing kind acts. Those relationships that are required for working cooperatively are founded upon basic social connections. So it's pretty fundamental to how human beings interact with each other.

I was like high every day, right? Mostly it was kind of a warm glow round your heart and also your tummy. It just felt really good.

So if kindness is so beneficial, and it's in our nature, why don't we live in a kinder world?

Human beings have a predisposition to exhibit kindness to other people. But they also have the possibility of demonstrating quite significant unkindness to other people. The environment makes a huge difference.

All of those stories about kindness being weak, we have to challenge those now.

When you think of a really successful person, do you think of someone who's kind? Or do you think of someone who's out there in the limelight, really dominant figure, a celebrity, who's very wealthy? What can we do to turn the narrative of success around? So we say that actually being successful does involve positive relationships with other people.

So how could we build kinder world?

This can't simply be a matter of instructing people in a given setting to be kind. Hey, you. You need to be kind. We need to change our environment so that it feels normative to be kind.

I would really like to see businesses, schools, hospitals all public services, have a kindness manifesto, so that they all ask themselves, "Is this kind?" So that it becomes an ordinary part of our conversation at every level in every organisation, everywhere.

The biggest lesson for me was to embrace the fact that every single day, I can do something. That thing might be just saying 'good morning' to someone. That thing might be just smiling. That's how we change the world.

The small stuff may actually be the big stuff. All those small things that you figure, "Well, they're not important, just people being nice to each other." Maybe that's the most important thing for creating an environment which actually enables people to feel good and to be able to work together and to be able to take on some really big challenges.

词汇表
fluffy [ˈflʌfi] 空洞的，不切实际的；松软的，毛茸茸的
wishy-washy [ˈwɪʃi wɒʃi] 优柔寡断的，软弱无力的，空洞无内容的
fundamental [ˌfʌndəˈmentl] 必要的，重要的，基本的，根本的
café [ˈkæfeɪ] 咖啡馆，小餐馆
double-decker bus [ˌdʌbl ˈdekə(r)] 双层巴士
civil war [ˌsɪvl ˈwɔː(r)] 内战
riot [ˈraɪət] 暴乱，骚乱，暴动
despairing [dɪˈspeərɪŋ] 感到绝望的，失去希望的
enormity [ɪˈnɔː(r)məti] 巨大，严重性，深远影响
post office 邮局
stamp [stæmp] 邮票，图章，印记
be overwhelmed with gratitude [ˌəʊvə(r)ˈwelm(d)] [ˈɡrætɪtjuːd] 感激不已，不胜感激
disproportionate [ˌdɪsprəˈpɔː(r)ʃənət] 不成比例的，不相称的
concoct [kənˈkɒkt] 萌生，编造，策划；调制
foolhardy [ˈfuːlˌhɑː(r)di] 鲁莽的，蛮干的，大胆的
notion [ˈnəʊʃ(ə)n] 想法，观念，概念
life-transforming [trænsˌfɔː(r)mɪŋ] 改变生活的，对生活产生重大影响的
paradox [ˈpærədɒks] 悖论，矛盾的人或事
be intended to [ɪnˈtendɪd] 旨在，目的是，为了
activation [ˌæktɪˈveɪʃ(ə)n] 激活；活化
reward pathway [rɪˈwɔː(r)d ˈpɑː(r)θweɪ] 奖励通路，奖赏回路
perform kind acts 行善，实施善举，做好事
warm glow [ɡləʊ] 温暖的感觉，温情效应（指做某个善举时令人愉悦的内在幸福感）
tummy [ˈtʌmi] 胃，肚子，腹部
predisposition [ˌpriːdɪspəˈzɪʃ(ə)n] 倾向，癖性；（易患某种病的）体质
in the limelight [ˈlaɪmlaɪt] 引人注目，备受瞩目，处于显要地位
dominant figure [ˈdɒmɪnənt ˈfɪɡə(r)] 主导人物，领军人物
turn the narrative around [ˈnærətɪv] 扭转观念
normative [ˈnɔː(r)mətɪv] 规范的，标准的，常态的
manifesto [ˌmænɪˈfestəʊ] 宣言，声明

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