The Art of Improvement｜你的人生由你自己掌控

You Don't Need Permission to Live Your Life

As children, we had to ask for permission from our parents or caretakers to do what we wanted. Whether it was hanging out with friends, going outside, or whatever rules were placed on us, we had to ask. And being children, this was often important to keep us safe.

But many of us carry this need into adulthood. We believe we need permission from our parents, friends, and even society when it comes to living the life we want. We hold on to tradition – the tradition of what everyone else has done and what everyone else believes we should do.

The problem is we give up what we want as individuals. We seek permission from others about how to live our lives. We seek approval for what we should study in college, what job we should take, and which partner we should date. And we want to follow what others deem to be "best" for us.

I understand a lot of wanting to seek permission is based on respect for the person whom we are seeking permission from. But if it goes against what you want, you are not respecting yourself and your life. Because continually seeking permission and approval from others will not make you happy. Eventually, you will realize you have been living your life for others, and you've missed out on the life you wanted.

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." Whether you are 26 or 46, your life is yours. You may seek the advice of peers and family, but the decision on how you should live life is yours. There may be consequences to your decisions, but you don't need permission to live your life how you see fit. And despite what we are told all the time, being selfish on occasion is something which is healthy.

You will make mistakes, and you will make some stupid decisions. I have. But it is all part of growth and finding out who you are and what you want. It is part of living your own life and figuring out what it means to you. When you start to figure out what you want in life, you may change your mind about a lot of the thoughts you previously had. And you also have permission to do that.

You have permission to change your mind about whatever. It doesn't matter. It could be politics, religion, pursuing a career, or a college major. It's alright to change your mind. Not only is it alright, it's a right. It's your right.

You don't have to seek permission to live your life or change your mind, and you also need to be a little stubborn when it comes to living the life you want. I'm not saying to not seek advice or wisdom from those who may have more experience, but their life is not yours. Their experience does not equate to what is best for you – only you can determine that. And usually, their want for you comes from a place of fear – their fear. But you can't let their fear be yours.

To live how you want, there must be a willingness to give up certain things like tradition, the "normal", and what others want you to do. You will face detractors and people who believe you are crazy. The question you need to ask yourself is: what are you willing to give up to live the life you want? That will be up to you and only you.

But remember, you have permission to live the life you want. It's already in your hands. It's been granted. You just have to find what that life looks like.

词汇表
caretaker [ˈkeəteɪkə(r)] 照顾者，看护人，监护人
place on 施加、强加（责任等）于；寄托
hold on to 坚持；紧握；保留；不放弃
seek permission [siːk pəˈmɪʃn] 寻求许可，征求同意
deem [diːm] 认为，视为
go against  违背，反对，对…不利
agony [ˈæɡəni] 极大的痛苦，苦恼
untold story [ˌʌnˈtəʊld] 未曾诉说的故事，不为人知的故事
healthy [ˈhelθi] 正常的，合理的
equate to [ɪˈkweɪt] 等同于，相当于
come from a place of 出于，源于（某种心理或情感等）
detractor [dɪˈtræktə(r)] 诋毁者，贬低者，恶意批评者
in one's hands 在某人手中，由某人掌控
granted [ˈɡrɑːntɪd] 被允许的，被授予的，理所当然的

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