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0Should you be checking your kid’s phone? How to know when your child is ready for ‘phone privacy’
该不该查孩子的手机？如何知道孩子已经需要“手机隐私”了？
Smartphone ownership among younger children is increasing rapidly. Many primary school children now own smartphones and they have become the norm in high school. Parents of younger children may occasionally (or routinely) look at their child’s phone to check it’s being used responsibly and safely. But as children mature into teens, parental inspections will likely feel like an invasion of privacy. Many would not ask for a high schooler’s diary, yet phones hold even more personal information. So, what do parents need to consider when making the “phone rules” for their children as they get older?
越来越多的小孩子拥有智能手机。现在许多小学生拥有智能手机，而且这在高中已经成为常态。年幼孩子的父母可能偶尔（或经常）查看孩子的手机，以检查他们否负责任、安全地使用手机。但随着孩子成长为青少年，父母查手机可能会他们觉得隐私受到侵犯。许多家长不会要求高中生的日记，但手机却保存着更多的私人信息。那么，随着孩子年龄的增长，家长在为孩子制定“手机规则”时需要考虑哪些因素呢？
Parents get their younger children phones for many reasons. Some feel it will help keep kids safe when, for example, travelling on their own to and from school. Others have bought one after intense pressure from their child or worry their child will be left out socially if all their friends have a phone. Some also tell me they are reluctant to let their child use the parents’ phone for fear of risking important work files or information stored on the phone.
父母给小孩子买手机的原因有很多。有些人认为这有助于确保孩子们在独自上学和放学时的安全。其他人出于孩子的压力购买手机，或者担心如果他们所有的朋友都有手机，自己的孩子就不合群。有些人还告诉我，他们不愿意让孩子使用父母的手机，因为担心手机上存储的重要工作文件或信息被损坏。
Parents understandably want their children to be safe. Monitoring may be part of this, but it’s not the whole story. Education and open dialogue about phone safety should begin the day your child gets their phone and continue as they grow. The focus should be on problem-solving together and respectfully. This is what will empower them to self-regulate appropriately as they grow.
父母希望孩子安全，这是可以理解的。监督可取，但不是唯一。从孩子拿到手机的那一天开始，父母和孩子就应该开诚布公地谈论手机安全问题，并随着他们的成长而持续下去。重点应该是共同并相互尊重地解决问题，这将赋能于孩子，让他们在成长的过程中学会自我管理。
This may include controls, restrictions and monitoring, but does not necessarily need to include phone checking. Establishing the rules on safety and wellbeing for using the phone is key. This means talking to your children about how and when they use their phone, why they shouldn’t answer unknown texts and calls, beware of giving out personal information online, and about being kind online. Let your children know they can always talk to you if they have a weird or bad experience online.
这可能包括控制、限制和监督，但不一定包括查手机，关键在于确立安全健康使用手机的规则。这意味着与孩子谈论他们如何以及何时使用手机、为什么他们不应该回复未知的短信和电话、谨防在网上泄露个人信息以及在网上友善待人。 让孩子知道，如果他们在网上遇到奇怪或糟糕的经历，可以随时与父母交谈。
As children mature, parental guidance also needs to change alongside it. After about 12 months of the child’s phone ownership, checking phones needs to fade, and ongoing open communication needs to become the mainstay. Parents may also trial new ways of using the phone or certain apps together with their child. For example, the child and parent can use the screentime feature to discuss, and be aware of, their developing phone habits.
随着孩子长大，父母也应调整指导方式。孩子拥有手机约12个月后，父母查手机的行为应停止，而应以持续开诚布公的交流为主。家长还可以与孩子一起尝试手机使用的新方式或一些应用程序。例如，孩子和家长可以使用屏幕时间功能来讨论并了解他们正在养成的手机习惯。
The risk of routinely checking a teen’s phone is that it may end up fostering mistrust between parent and child. Taking a phased approach helps your child develop the skills and values they need to be able to make good, independent decisions. This can help alleviate the fear and worry many parents have about phones and kids.
如果时不时就查青少年手机，这会加剧父母和孩子之间的不信任。分阶段管理孩子的手机行为可以帮助孩子培养技能和价值观，从而做出正确、独立的决策。这样以来，许多父母对手机和孩子的恐惧和担忧也就减轻了。
