The School of Life｜与所爱之人说废话的乐趣

The Pleasures of Talking Nonsense with Someone We Love

We might expect that, if we could eavesdrop on the conversations of the most admirable, clever and loving couples in the world, those who had properly cracked the puzzles of intimacy and emotional maturity, we would hear them talking in the noblest ways about the most serious things. So it may come as a surprise that, in all likelihood, these couples would do nothing of the sort.

Through our recording equipment, we might hear some of the following: one of them starting to wonder why bananas grow in an oblong curved shape, the other – not quite listening – going off on a tangent about an ulcer they've got on the left side of their tongue while filing a toenail and half glancing at an airline review video on YouTube, which might be followed by the other speculating (for no apparent reason, in a bad imitation of a German accent) on the lyrics in an album by Dire Straits, which might be a prelude to their partner suggesting that they wanted to follow up on last night's reheated curry with a chocolate biscuit dipped in strawberry yoghurt.

It might sound like regressive nonsense and in key ways it is, but we might want to maintain that this sort of incoherent chatter should also be considered one of the high-water marks of emotional intimacy and in its way, a bellwether of the most serious kinds of interpersonal closeness. People who know each other extremely well and love one another deeply, do not – it appears – sit together discussing philosophy or the accelerator theory in economics, they shoot the breeze, they swerve here and there, they talk shit and this.

Far from being some kind of distraction or unfortunate lapse, it is a strange and profound proof of the depths of their mutual affection. Intimacy is about daring to be increasingly and bravely weird with someone else – and finding out that that's OK with them.

In the recesses of all of our minds flows a stream of consciousness that mixes the serious and the unserious, the consequential and the flighty, the physical and the emotional. And when we have allowed ourselves to be genuinely close to someone, it is to this that we take them; we do them the honour of showing them who we actually are, not who we should or pretend to be – a privilege we grant only to a handful of people in our lives.

Everyone else may know our sensible selves; they've been introduced to, and know how to love and take an interest in a naughty, sweet, curious and highly peculiar babbling child. We are doing one of the most courageous and important things in the world: allowing someone else to know us.

词汇表
talk nonsense [ˈnɒnsns] 胡说八道，说废话
eavesdrop [ˈiːvzdrɒp] 偷听，窃听
crack the puzzles [kræk ðə ˈpʌzlz] 解开谜题，破解难题
intimacy [ˈɪntɪməsi] 亲密，亲密关系
maturity [məˈtʃʊərəti] 成熟；到期；完备
in all likelihood [ˈlaɪklihʊd] 很可能，多半，十有八九
oblong [ˈɒblɒŋ] 矩形的，长方形的，椭圆形的
curved [ kɜːvd] 弯曲的，弧形的
go off on a tangent [ˈtændʒənt] 突然离题，突然改变行径
ulcer [ˈʌlsə(r)] 溃疡；腐烂物
file a toenail [faɪl ə ˈtuːneɪl] 修剪脚趾甲，锉平脚趾甲
speculate [ˈspekjuleɪt] 推测，猜测；投机
prelude [ˈpreljuːd] 前奏，序幕，先声
reheated curry [ˌriːˈhiːtɪd ˈkʌri] 热过的咖喱
dip [dɪp] 浸，蘸，涮
yoghurt [ˈjəʊɡət] 酸奶，酸乳
regressive [rɪˈɡresɪv] 退化的，倒退的
incoherent [ˌɪnkəʊˈhɪərənt] 语无伦次的，不连贯的，杂乱无章的
chatter [ ˈtʃætə(r)] 闲聊，喋喋不休，唠叨
high-water mark 顶峰，巅峰，最高境界；高水位线
bellwether [ˈbelweðə(r)] 征兆，风向标；领头羊
accelerator theory [əkˈseləreɪtə(r)] 加速理论（认为投资与产出存在加速关系）
shoot the breeze [ʃuːt ðə briːz] 闲聊，闲谈，吹牛
swerve here and there [swɜːv]（话题）东拉西扯；东拐西拐
lapse [læps] 小错，疏忽；（时间的）流逝
recess [rɪˈses] （思想或心灵的）深处；幽深处，隐蔽处
consequential [ˌkɒnsɪˈkwenʃl] 重要的，意义重大的；随之发生的
flighty [ˈflaɪti] 轻浮的，反复无常的；琐碎的
a handful of [ˈhændfʊl] 一把，少数，几个
naughty [ˈnɔːti] 顽皮的，淘气的
peculiar [pɪˈkjuːliə(r)] 独特的，特殊的；奇怪的
babbling [ˈbæblɪŋ] 胡言乱语的，咿呀学语的；潺潺作响的
courageous [kəˈreɪdʒəs] 勇敢的，有胆量的

🏫翻译和pdf见公众号【琐简英语】，回复"1"可进入【打卡交流群】