The School of Life｜将陌生人变成朋友的关键是什么？

What's the key to turning strangers into friends?

We're sometimes not too sure how we get into good friendships. It seems to happen rather mysteriously: we talk of somewhat randomly clicking with people. Trying to plan for this sounds like cheating. But there is something at the heart of many friendships that seemed important to identify and in a way to get good at: vulnerability.

It's too easy to assume that what makes us likable, are our strengths our accomplishments, the things we're proud of. Certainly this impresses, but it isn't what draws others to us. We get close to someone the more, they, and we find ourselves able gracefully to depart from the official story of what human beings are like, and can start to show the awkward truths which underlie the cheerful facade.

These are the truths with which we've been lonely for too long. How unlike normal sexuality our sex lives actually are; how full of envy are our careers are proving; how unsatisfactory our family can be; how worried we are, all the time. Revealing any of these things places us in great danger. Others could laugh; social media would have a field day. That's the point.

We can only get close by revealing things which would, in the wrong hands, be capable of inflicting appalling humiliation on us. Friendship is the dividend of gratitude, that flows from acknowledgement that one has offered something very valuable to someone. Not a fancy present, but something even more precious: the key to one's self-esteem and dignity.

It's deeply poignant that we should expend so much effort on trying to look strong before the world. When, all the while, it's really only ever the revelation of the somewhat embarrassing, sad, melancholy and anxious bits of us that are what makes us endearing to others and can transform strangers into friends.

词汇表
click with [klɪk] 与…合拍，与…投缘
vulnerability [ˌvʌlnərəˈbɪləti] 脆弱性，易受伤性，弱点
likable [ˈlaɪkəbl] 可爱的，讨人喜欢的
gracefully [ˈɡreɪsfəli] 优雅地，得体地
depart from [dɪˈpɑːt] 偏离，背离
facade [fəˈsɑːd] 表面，外观；（建筑物的）正面
sexuality [ˌsekʃuˈæləti] 性，性行为，性观念
unsatisfactory [ˌʌnsætɪsˈfæktəri] 令人不满意的，不尽如人意的
have a field day 大做文章，大肆渲染
in the wrong hands  落入他人之手，被不怀好意的人利用
inflict appalling humiliation on [ɪnˈflɪkt əˈpɔːlɪŋ hjuːˌmɪliˈeɪʃn] 给…带来极大的羞辱，使…颜面扫地
dividend [ˈdɪvɪdend] 回报，回报物
gratitude [ˈɡrætɪtjuːd] 感激，感恩
fancy [ˈfænsi] 华丽的，精致的
self-esteem [ˌself ɪˈstiːm] 自尊，自尊心
dignity [ˈdɪɡnəti] 尊严，自尊
poignant [ˈpɔɪnjənt] 令人心酸的，令人感慨的
revelation [ˌrevəˈleɪʃn] 揭露，袒露
melancholy [ˈmelənkəli] 忧郁的，悲伤的
endearing [ɪnˈdɪərɪŋ] 惹人喜爱的，可爱的

🏫翻译，视频和pdf见公众号【琐简英语】，回复"1"可进入【打卡交流群】