Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 2Hidden Brain

Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 2

104分钟 ·
播放数1335
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评论数6

When things go wrong in our relationships, we often try to change the way our partners behave. But usually, trying to fix a person only makes things worse. Last week, we talked to psychologist James Cordova about why this tendency can be so damaging, and what to do instead. This week, we explore another difficult but effective way to strengthen our relationships. Then, on Your Questions Answered, we bring back researcher Victor Strecher, who studies purpose. Vic spoke with us in June about the death of his daughter, and how it changed his own outlook on purpose. That conversation, which was called "You 2.0: What Is Your Life For?" had a powerful impact on many listeners. We'll hear Vic's responses to their thoughts and questions. 

What have you learned about changing your partner in the course of your relationship? Have you come up with ways to accept your partner's flaws? If you have questions or comments for James Cordova, and you'd be willing to share with the Hidden Brain audience, please record a short voice memo on your phone and email it to us at ideas@hiddenbrain.org. Use the subject line "acceptance." Thanks! 

The Hidden Brain tour is continuing, with our next stops just a few days away! Join us in Baltimore on October 11 or Washington, D.C. on October 12 to see Shankar live on stage. We'll also be in Los Angeles on November 22, and more dates in 2026 are coming soon. For more info and tickets, head to hiddenbrain.org/tour

Episode illustration by Paris Bilal for Unsplash+. 


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展开Show Notes
BillyBin
BillyBin
2025.10.10
Our disappointment toward our partner always accompanies with the misjudgment about his/her intentions. The way to solve it is to think about the invitation to each other’s vulnerability, which is so fragile to let the hole to accept you. Then you have to be careful, thoughtful and mindful to consider that sensibility and intentions
BillyBin
BillyBin
2025.10.10
33:22 in intimate relationships, it is the person who you are open up also hurts you most, so our bodyguard is always trying to protect our vulnerability, which is necessary sometimes, but in intimacy, let away of your bodyguard and take control of yourself maybe the best strategy if you still hold precious to your partner.
BillyBin
BillyBin
2025.10.10
30:03 when someone comes to us furiously blaming or arguing, can we see their deeply rooted pain instead of responding it with our proud and egotism to defend ourselves? It is hard, but practice to be humble
BillyBin
BillyBin
2025.10.10
20:10 It is always not easy to see the pain and hurt in my partner when I am in pain and are hurt, the only way to see the partner’s pain is through love and it need tremendous exercise to swallow such hard pills
BillyBin
BillyBin
2025.10.10
Eat the blame means what if the smallest part of my doing has also a significant effect on the argument? What if I admit my own mistakes and wrong doings? And what if I step back a little bit to see the big picture that I am also one of the person to causing all the unhappiness?
BillyBin
BillyBin
2025.10.10
11:06 the less we want to change our partner, the more willingly our partner want to change