401
2bgm：story that never ends - 陈康堤
今天这期播客想送给所有擅长责怪自己的朋友
本期摘要：
一次与老师的寻常谈话，却让我意外地情绪决堤。在不受控制的泪水与抽泣中，我感到的不仅是悲伤，更是深深的羞愧与自我责怪——“我讨厌哭，更讨厌无法控制自己的哭”。这期播客记录了一次突如其来的情绪崩溃，以及崩溃之后与自我的深刻对话。我们似乎总是不允许自己脆弱，但正如一句点醒我的话：“人想到伤心事就是会哭啊”。最终，这期节目希望与你分享一个温柔的领悟：请允许自己哭泣，包容自己的脆弱，做自己最好的朋友。 美好的结局，正从你原谅自己的那一刻开始书写。
情绪崩溃后的第一反应居然是责怪自己
After an emotional breakdown, my first reaction is to blame myself
00:43 Preview
01:22 Start
我太擅长自我否定了I'm too good at self-denial.
Even though you know that you don't have the responsibility but you just habit put that in your stress put that to add on your stress.
04:21 我只知道我的声音开始颤抖，鼻子一酸，我就开始流泪了。
I just like breaking machine andi stuck and I can't control myself better.
So after this conversation I just want to quickly end up all of this
因此在结束谈话之后，我匆匆离去，我知道自己眼睛一定红了，而且我的情绪一直间歇性地忍不住激动。
我讨厌哭，更讨厌哭的时候无法控制自己，更更讨厌无法控制自己的哭的时候有人看着我。
I knew my eyes must have been red, and my emotions had been intermittently agitated.
06:37 “人想到伤心事就是会哭啊”
“People just feel sad people just cry when they feel when they think of the sad things.”
And I realized I still can't learn the ability to forgive myself for being vulnerable.
我还是没能原谅自己会脆弱，我不能压抑这些情绪。我要允许自己的眼泪，包容它们，然后等我收拾好了我再继续。
And I'will see this I'will see my crying today as one of the way to vent my stress it's a good thing it's really normal I should tell myself.
当然我也知道因为处理这些事情会让我焦虑时间。考研三字头了，我的压力是缓缓增加的，因此这次的哭也许也是一种压力宣泄
这是好事啊。这很正常啊。我是我自己最好的朋友，永远要记得原谅自己、鼓励自己、哄着自己向前。继续写你的热血番吧，而美好的大结局就在你的脚下。Keep writing your passionate anime, and a wonderful ending is right beneath your feet.
09:12 中文絮絮叨
