读后续写模拟题(助人为乐类)
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
The rain poured down like tiny bullets on the busy city street. Emily, a high school student, hurried towards the bus stop after her part-time job at the bookstore, holding a newspaper over her head. It was cold and wet, and all she wanted was to get home, have a hot shower, and curl up with a good book.
As she approached the bus stop, she noticed an old woman sitting on the bench. The woman, who looked to be in her seventies, was holding a small, worn-out bag tightly on her lap. She was soaked to the bone, her gray hair clinging to her forehead. But what caught Emily's attention was the lost and confused look in her eyes. The woman kept looking left and right, watching every bus that came and went, but never getting on any of them.
Emily initially hesitated. The bus was due any minute, and her cozy bed was calling her name. However, something made her stop. She remembered her own grandmother, who lived in the countryside, and how she would always worry about her if she were alone in the city.
Mustering her courage, Emily approached the old woman. "Excuse me, ma'am," she said gently, "Are you okay? Do you need any help?" The old woman looked up, her eyes filled with a mixture of relief and anxiety. She spoke in a shaky voice, explaining that she had come to the city to visit her son, but she had lost the piece of paper with his address. She couldn't remember the way, and her phone had died. She had been sitting there for almost two hours, watching the rain and the strangers pass by.
Emily's heart ached for her. She looked at the darkening sky and then at the woman's desperate face.
注意:
1. 续写词数应为150左右;
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1:
Emily knew she couldn't just leave her there.
Paragraph 2:
An hour later, they finally found the right apartment building.
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写作思路点拨
· 第一段:伸出援手,想办法。 Emily决定帮助老妇人。可以写她先带老人到旁边的便利店或屋檐下躲雨,然后用自己的手机帮老人想办法。比如询问老人是否记得儿子的名字、工作单位或者小区周边的特征,尝试用这些信息在网上搜索,或者拨打查号台。也可以写她买了一杯热饮给老人暖身子,体现细节关怀。
· 第二段:成功找到,善意传递。 找到正确地点后,重点描写亲人重逢的感人场景。老人的儿子对Emily万分感激。Emily告别后,虽然浑身湿透、疲惫不堪,但内心却充满温暖。可以升华主题:帮助他人带来的快乐远比舒适的物质享受更持久,或者这份善意会像涟漪一样传递下去。
Paragraph 1:
Emily knew she couldn't just leave her there. She gently took the old woman's cold, trembling hand and led her to the shelter of a nearby convenience store. "Wait here, just for a moment," she said softly. She bought a steaming cup of hot chocolate and placed it in the woman's hands, watching the warmth slowly bring some color back to her cheeks. Then, Emily took out her phone. "Let's try to figure this out together," she encouraged. She asked the woman for any detail—her son's full name, possible landmarks near his home, or even the name of a nearby shop. The old woman closed her eyes, thinking hard. "I... I remember a big red supermarket at the corner, and a bakery that smelled of fresh bread," she said slowly, hope flickering in her eyes. Emily immediately started searching online, combining the clues. After several attempts, she finally found a residential area that matched the description. "I think I found it!" she exclaimed, her own excitement rising.
Paragraph 2:
An hour later, they finally found the right apartment building. As they approached the entrance, an anxious middle-aged man rushed out, his eyes scanning the street frantically. The moment he spotted the old woman, his face crumpled with relief. "Mom! I've been looking everywhere for you!" he cried, rushing over to embrace her tightly. The old woman wept softly, patting his back. Turning to Emily, the man grasped both her hands, his voice thick with emotion. "I don't know how to thank you. You didn't have to help, but you did." Emily just smiled, feeling a warmth inside that had nothing to do with the weather. As she walked away into the night, the rain had stopped. The city lights sparkled on the wet pavement like tiny stars. She was tired, wet, and had missed her bus, but her heart felt lighter than it had all day. She realized then that sometimes, the smallest act of kindness could turn a stranger into family, even if just for a moment. And perhaps, somewhere down the road, someone would do the same for her own grandmother.
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作文得分亮点
1. 情节饱满,细节动人:第一段没有简单写"帮忙找路",而是通过买热巧克力暖手、耐心引导老人回忆细节,展现了Emily的善良与细心。第二段亲人重逢的场景真实感人,情感层层递进。
2. 情感描写层次丰富:运用了* trembling hand, hope flickering in her eyes, face crumpled with relief, voice thick with emotion* 等表达,将老人从无助到希望、儿子从焦虑到感激的情感变化刻画得淋漓尽致。
3. 语言优美地道:
· 高级词汇:shelter, frantically, crumpled, emotion等
· 修辞手法:The city lights sparkled on the wet pavement like tiny stars(比喻)
· 句式多样:分词状语(watching the warmth slowly bring some color back to her cheeks)、独立主格(her own excitement rising)等
4. 主旨升华自然深刻:结尾没有停留在"助人为乐"的说教,而是通过Emily的心理活动,将主题升华为"善意的传递"——她相信这份善意终有一天会回到自己亲人身边。这种"爱的循环"的立意比单纯的"做好事"更有深度,也更符合"爱心传递型"的核心。
