读后续写模拟题(人与动物/自然型)
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
The storm hit without warning.
Ethan, a seventeen-year-old farm boy, was checking fences on the far side of the property when the sky turned from blue to bruised purple in minutes. Thunder cracked directly overhead, and the rain came down in sheets so thick he could barely see ten feet ahead. He turned his horse, Thunder, toward home, but the trail had already turned to mud.
Lightning struck a nearby tree with a deafening crash, splitting it in half. Thunder reared up in terror, throwing Ethan from the saddle. His head slammed against a rock, and the world went black.
When Ethan woke, the storm had passed. Pain throbbed through his skull, and his left ankle was twisted at an unnatural angle—broken, he realized with a sinking heart. The sun was low in the sky. He was miles from the farmhouse, alone, injured, and night was coming fast.
Then he heard a sound—a soft whinny. Thunder stood twenty feet away, trembling but waiting. The horse hadn't run.
"Hey, boy," Ethan whispered, his voice hoarse. He tried to stand, but pain shot through his leg like fire, and he collapsed back onto the wet ground. He couldn't walk. He couldn't even crawl.
Desperation clawed at him. His parents wouldn't worry until dinner time. By then, it would be dark. By morning... he didn't want to think about by morning.
Thunder took a few steps closer, then stopped, ears twitching nervously. Ethan looked at the horse, then at the reins hanging loose against his neck. An idea flickered in his pain-clouded mind—but it was crazy. Thunder had never been trained for this. Horses spook easily. They don't understand.
But what choice did he have?
注意:
1. 续写词数应为150左右;
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1:
Ethan reached up and grabbed the rein, pulling gently.
Paragraph 2:
Back at the farmhouse, Ethan's father spotted them first.
---
写作思路点拨
· 第一段:建立信任,艰难自救。 核心是人马之间跨越物种的信任与合作。可以描写Ethan如何忍着剧痛,一点点引导Thunder靠近,然后尝试利用它把自己拖起来或带回家。重点刻画互动的细节——马的眼神、犹豫的脚步、最终的理解;以及Ethan的疼痛、坚持和对伙伴的轻声鼓励。这个过程不是一蹴而就的,可以有反复和波折。
· 第二段:获救与情感升华。 父亲看到这一幕的震惊与感动是很好的情感爆发点。可以通过父亲的视角,侧面展现Thunder的不易和忠诚。结尾要落脚在人与动物之间的羁绊——Eham抱着Thunder的脖子感谢它,这份情谊超越了主人与坐骑,变成了生死之交。可以含蓄地点出,从此他们之间有了不一样的东西。
Paragraph 1:
Ethan reached up and grabbed the rein, pulling gently. Thunder flinched but didn't bolt. "Easy, boy. Easy," Ethan murmured, his voice trembling with pain and fear. He tugged again, and this time the horse stepped closer, lowering his head as if understanding what was needed. Gritting his teeth against the fire in his ankle, Ethan wrapped the rein around his hand and pulled himself up on one leg, using Thunder's strong neck for support. The horse stood still, muscles twitching but hooves planted firm. "I need you to get me home," Ethan whispered, pressing his forehead against Thunder's warm, damp neck. With every ounce of strength left, he hauled himself onto the horse's back, lying flat, clutching the mane like a lifeline. Thunder turned slowly, deliberately, as if he knew—as if he had always known—exactly which direction led home.
Paragraph 2:
Back at the farmhouse, Ethan's father spotted them first. He had been standing on the porch, phone in hand, ready to call the sheriff. But when he saw the shape emerging from the twilight—a horse walking slowly, carefully, carrying a slumped figure on its back—his heart stopped. He ran. By the time he reached them, Ethan had slid halfway down Thunder's side, pale as moonlight but alive. "Dad," Ethan whispered, "Thunder... he brought me home." His father looked at the horse—sweat-soaked, trembling with exhaustion, but standing guard over the boy like a silent guardian. Later that night, safe in his bed with his ankle wrapped, Ethan reached out and touched Thunder's nose through the open window. The horse huffed softly, warm breath in the cold air. No words passed between them. None were needed. In the space where words should have been, something deeper had grown—trust forged in the heart of a storm, a bond that would last long after the bruises healed.
---
作文得分亮点
1. 人-马互动细腻真实:第一段通过flinched but didn't bolt, stepped closer, muscles twitching but hooves planted firm, turned slowly, deliberately等一系列动作描写,将Thunder从紧张到信任、再到主动承担的过程写得层次分明。Ethan的whispered, pressed his forehead, clutched the mane like a lifeline则展现了他的脆弱与依赖。
2. 视角转换丰富层次:第二段巧妙引入父亲的视角——his heart stopped, He ran, looked at the horse——通过旁观者的眼睛,侧面烘托出这一幕的震撼与感人,让叙述更有张力。
3. 语言富有画面感与诗意:
· 高级词汇:flinched, bolt, murmured, gritting, hauled, deliberately, twilight, slumped, guardian, forged
· 比喻与拟人:clutched the mane like a lifeline, pale as moonlight, standing guard over the boy like a silent guardian
· 感官描写:warm, damp neck; sweat-soaked; trembling with exhaustion; warm breath in the cold air
4. 结尾含蓄深刻:No words passed between them. None were needed. 短短两句,胜过千言万语。最后一句trust forged in the heart of a storm, a bond that would last long after the bruises healed将主题升华到“患难见真情”的高度,既点明人与动物之间的羁绊,又呼应了“人与动物/自然型”的核心立意——在生死考验中结下的情谊,最是珍贵。
