NPR｜Are you sure you know what 'gaslighting' is

AILSA CHANG, HOST:
You're not imagining it. The word gaslighting is everywhere. It's often thrown at bosses, exes, politicians. But where exactly did this word come from? For this Word of the Week, where we dig into the origins and meanings of popular words, NPR's Emma Bowman gives us a reality check.

EMMA BOWMAN, BYLINE: In short, gaslighting can be described as crazy-making.

PAIGE SWEET: Sort of like watching something happen and being told that's not what's happening.

BOWMAN: Paige Sweet is a sociologist at the University of Michigan who studies the phenomenon in the context of intimate relationships. She says gaslighting is beyond the scope of lying.

SWEET: It involves something a little bit more sort of, like, twisted, which is, like, making you feel that the thing is your fault or you're bad for thinking that what's happening is happening.

BOWMAN: The verb was inspired by the Patrick Hamilton 1930s play "Gas Light." But the better-known reference is the play's 1944 film adaptation, starring Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer, in which the charming jewel thief Gregory is after some rare gems that belong to a woman he murdered. He marries the victim's niece, Paula, and moves into her townhouse where he knows the gems are hidden. To protect his scheme, he needs her to not be credible. So Gregory deviously drives her mad. He moves things around the home and hides her belongings, then blames the missing items on her forgetfulness.

CHARLES BOYER: (As Gregory Anton) You might lose it. You know, you are inclined to lose things, Paula.

INGRID BERGMAN: (As Paula Alquist Anton) I am? No. I didn't realize that.

BOYER: (As Gregory Anton) Oh, just little things.

BOWMAN: Paula begins to doubt herself and loses touch with reality. In real life, associate professor Sweet says the abuse is usually not so overt.

SWEET: That's kind of what it feeds on is you not knowing really what's happening to you.

BOWMAN: For all the darkness associated with the word, "Gaslight" also bears a message of hope. The titular gaslights in Paula's home are actually how she uncovers her husband's scheme. She notices that every time her husband leaves the house, the lights dim about 10 minutes later. That's because the gas-fueled lights have been turned up on the top floor where her husband is digging for the jewels. But because her reality has been undermined, she needs someone else to confirm what she's seeing. Here's crime fiction scholar Rosemary Johnsen.

ROSEMARY JOHNSEN: The way she uses the information that she can determine from what's happening with the gaslight, I think, is such a vivid, dramatic effect that then the term sort of got attached to this abuser's playbook.

BOWMAN: And unlike what happens to Paula, Kate Abramson, author of the book "On Gaslighting," says the world doesn't come back to victims so readily.

KATE ABRAMSON: Successful gaslighting shatters the skills of trust, and those have to be gradually built back up.

BOWMAN: But, she says, it does come back eventually, once you label it. Emma Bowman, NPR News.

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