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0Following Through
I can't remember when it started, but over the past several years, it's become a common comedic refrain among busy people of my acquaintance to declare how much they love it when someone cancels plans. What a gift, a last-minute reprieve! One moment you thought you were going to a movie and dinner after work, the next you have a totally unscheduled evening with which to do whatever you'd like.
I used to cancel passively, letting the day grow late without confirming an evening's plans so that their certainty grew hazy. Then I or my friend would send that text saying, "Hey, are we on for tonight? No worries if you're not up for it," handing the other the privilege of canceling without guilt. The result was the same: an unexpectedly unscheduled night, an obligation removed.
Technology makes backing out frictionless. And that, I think, is what's made me reconsider my position. The ease with which we can back out via text renders every plan a phantom. It makes it possible, whether we mean it or not, to treat our relationships with a lack of commitment.
Brad Stulberg wrote a lovely guest essay for Times Opinion a couple of years ago about the importance of showing up, even if it's a drag. The ultimate goal in keeping plans, he says, is creating community. "If we commit to certain people and activities, if we feel an obligation to show up for them, then it's likely that we will, indeed, show up," he writes. "And showing up repeatedly is what creates community."
We want community, to cultivate our relationships, but we also want to cultivate a character that we and others like and trust. There's so much that's unsteady in the world, so much that feels inconstant. Being a dependable presence, keeping our word and our plans, is a small but indisputable way of resisting that.
生词好句
follow through 把某事从头跟到尾；兑现承诺，坚持做完某事（complete what you have started or promised to do）
follow v. 跟随、跟进
through adv. 从头到尾、贯穿始终
follow through on a promise 信守约定
follow through on a plan 恪守计划
When you always follow through on your promises, people would grow to trust you.当你总能信守承诺，大家才会慢慢信任你。
comedic 英 [kəˈmiːdɪk] 美 [kəˈmiːdɪk] adj. 喜剧的；戏谑的
comedy n. 喜剧
refrain 英 [rɪˈfreɪn] 美 [rɪˈfreɪn] （本文）n. 反复出现的说法，口头禅（a frequently repeated saying）；v. 克制，忍住，避免
refrain from doing something 忍住不做某事
refrain from smoking 忍住不抽烟
refrain from complaining 不要抱怨
frain源自拉丁语的frenum，表示缰绳；re-词缀表示往回、往后；
refrain作名词，起初是音乐里的"副歌"，后来引申到日常生活中，人人挂在嘴边、反复出现的，就是refrain。
common refrain 普遍论调、老生常谈
reprieve 英 [rɪˈpriːv] 美 [rɪˈpriːv] n.（从困难或不舒服的事情当中）暂时解脱（a temporary relief from something difficult or unpleasant）
hazy 英 [ˈheɪzi] 美 [ˈheɪzi] adj. 模糊的，不清晰的
be not up for something v. 没兴致、不想做某事
be up for something 有意愿、有兴致做某事
back out （本文）退缩，食言；往后一步走出去
frictionless 英 [ˈfrɪkʃnləs] 美 [ˈfrɪkʃnləs] adj. 没有摩擦、毫无阻力的
friction n. 摩擦，阻力
phantom 英 [ˈfæntəm] 美 [ˈfæntəm] n.（本文）形容虚无缥缈之物； 幽灵；幻影
The Phantom of the Opera《歌剧魅影》
drag 英 [dræɡ] 美 [dræɡ] n. 无聊乏味的事（something boring or tedious）
indisputable 英 [ɪndɪˈspjuːtəbl] 美 [ɪndɪˈspjuːtəbl] adj. 毋庸置疑的、坚定决绝的
