It is Christmas, and there is a big party in the house. Guests come and go, but theparty goes on. Then the bell rings. Several people shout, " Come in! "And a small man opensthe front door and comes in. Nobody knows him but the host goes to meet him and takeshim to have a drink. The man sits there for an hour and drinks happily. Then suddenly hestops and looks at his host. "you know, " he says, "Nobody invites me to this party. I don'tknow you. I don't know your wife and I don't know any of your guests. My wife and I wantto go out in our car, but one of your guests’ cars is in front of our gate, so I come here tofind him and my wife is waiting in our car for me to come back!"

Mike's father is il. His mother must look after him at home. So she says to her son, "Go to the hospital, andask a doctor to come here. Mike." "OK, " says the boy."But where is the hospital?" " In the town," answers his mother. Then Mike leaves his house. He gets to a fork. He doesn't know if he must turn to the left or right. He stands there. Just then a farmer drives a car and comes. "How far is the town from here? " asks Mike."Two kilometers," answers the farmer. "May I go with you?""Certainly.""Thank you very much, " Mike is happy and gets in the car. Half an hour later the car doesn't get to the town. "How far is the town from here? " Mike asks again. "Four kilometers, " says the farmer. "Why is the town farther now?" "The car is going in the opposite direction."

Jim is very hungry. He is walking down the street when he sees a restaurant. He doesn't have any money, but he goes into the restaurant and sits down at a table. He orders some soup. After a while, Jim cries, "Waiter! " The waiter comes up to him. " There's a fly in my soup. "He pointsto a speck in the soup. "It's impossible, " says the waiter."It's black pepper! " "No, " Jim says, "The little black speck with wings is a fly. The other people in the restaurant comeover. The manager hears the voice and comes up to the table. "I find a fly in my soup." "It's impossible" the manager says."Look," Jim shows him the fly with the spoon. "Well, I'm very sorry, sir. Waiter, bring this gentleman a steak dinner and wine. "So the waiterbrings him a good dinner. At that moment, a box falls from Jim's pocket. The manager picks it up and opens it. What's in it? Abox of flies. He is very angry. He turns to Jim, "you are a big fool. Get out of my restaurant at once! "

There is a poor man in a small village. He has an orange tree in his garden. On the tree there are many fine oranges, One day he finds one of his oranges is much bigger than theothers. It is as big as a football. Nobody has ever seen such a big orange. The poor mantakes the orange to the king. The king is so pleased that he gives the man a lot of moneyfor it. When a rich man hears of it, he says to himself, " It's only an orange. Why does theking give so much money for it? I'll take my gold cup to the king. I'm sure he'll give memore money." The next day when the king receives the gold cup, he says to the rich man, "What a beautiful cup! I'll show you something wonderful. Please take this great orange.

87. Neighbors The Browns are the Smiths' neighbors. Mr Brown's name is John. But whenhis neighbors talk about him, they call him "Mr Going-to-do". Do you know why?Mr Brown always says he is going to do something, but he never does it. Every Saturday Mr Brown goes to the Smiths' back door and talks to MrSmith. He always says he is going to do something. "I'm going to clean my house today, " he says, or "I'm going to wash my cartomorrow, " or "These trees in front of my house are too big. I'm going to cutthem down next week."But Mr Smith knows his neighbor isn't going to do thosethings. Mr Smith often says to his only child Dick, " Are you going to do something?Then do it. Don't be another 'Mr Going-to-do'."

A young boy is playing with a ball in the street. He kicks it too hard, and it breaks the window of a house and falls inside. A lady comes to the window with the ball and shouts at the young boy. So the young boy runs away, but he still wants his ball back, Afew minutes later he returns and knocks at the door of the house. When the ladyanswers it, he says, " My father's going to come and fix your window very soon.After a few more minutes, a man comes to the door with tools in his hand. So thelady lets the boy take his ball away. When the man finishes fixing the window, he says to the lady, "That will cost you ten dollars." "But aren't you the father of that young boy? " the woman asks."Of course not,"He answers." Aren't you his mother?"

One day an old man is selling a big elephant. A young man comes to the elephant and begins to look at it slowly. The old man goes up to him and says in his ear, "Don't say anything about the elephant before I sell it; then I will give yousome meat. ""All right, " says the young man. After the old man sells the elephant he gives the young man some meat and says, "How can you see the bad ears of the elephant? "" I didn't see the bad ears, " says the young man. "Then why do youlook at the elephant slowly "? asks the old man. The young man answers, "BecauseI have never seen an elephant before, and I want to know what it looks like.