Why Social Circles Shrink — And How to Rebuild Them The Washington Post| By Anna Borges | 765 words Strong social connections are linked to longer life, greater happiness and even a lower risk of cognitive decline. Many people find their social circles shrinking over time, especially after major life transitions. Jean Edelstein knows this experience well. More than 20 years ago, after moving to London for graduate school, she suddenly found herself rebuilding her social life from scratch. Friends from university moved away, friendships connected to her boyfriend disappeared after their breakup, and colleagues at her new job were less interested in socializing outside work. Since then, Edelstein, now 44, has moved several times, including from Brooklyn to Montclair, New Jersey, where she lives with her husband and children. Each move forced her to start over socially. “It was either that or loneliness,” she said. Not everyone approaches the challenge so actively. According to Jaimie Krems, director of the UCLA Center for Friendship Research, people often treat friendship as optional rather than essential, unlike romantic or family relationships. Yet strong friendships are closely connected to physical and emotional well-being. Why Friendships Fade Maintaining a healthy social life requires two things: preserving existing friendships and continuing to build new ones. Both become harder with age. Many people remember periods of strong social connection because they had built-in opportunities to meet others regularly — school, roommates, shared neighborhoods or highly social workplaces. Those environments naturally create repeated interaction, which is crucial for forming friendships. As adulthood progresses, these opportunities often disappear. Moves, new jobs, romantic relationships and children can change priorities and reduce availability. Long-distance friendships become difficult to sustain, and not everyone is willing to adjust to new relationship dynamics. Conflict also plays a role. According to therapist Moe Ari Brown, many people struggle with difficult conversations. Instead of addressing disagreements or unmet needs, they allow friendships to fade gradually. At the same time, some friendships naturally end because people change. Interests, values and circumstances evolve, and certain relationships no longer fit a person’s life. Making new friends presents additional challenges. Existing friends often introduce people to wider social networks, so losing friendships can reduce access to new connections as well. Meanwhile, “third spaces” — cafes, parks, libraries, bars and other informal gathering places — have become less common and less affordable in recent years. How to Rebuild a Social Life Experts say rebuilding social connections requires intention and patience rather than trying to recreate the past. Brown recommends first changing how you think about friendship. Instead of seeing a shrinking social life as failure, recognize that social circles naturally evolve throughout life. The goal is not restoring an old version of your social life but creating one that fits your current stage of life. Start With Small Connections Brown suggests beginning with “weak ties” — casual interactions with people you regularly encounter. This might include chatting with a barista, neighbor, gym regular or another parent at school pickup. Research shows that even small daily interactions can increase happiness and create a stronger sense of belonging. Over time, they also make deeper connections easier to build. Edelstein often takes the initiative herself, inviting new acquaintances for coffee or casual meetups. Prioritize Repeated Exposure Krems says repeated interaction is one of the strongest predictors of friendship formation. This explains why clubs, hobby groups and volunteer organizations are effective ways to meet people. Brown recommends joining book clubs, hobby meetups or community activities where you regularly encounter the same individuals. For Edelstein, parenting groups and adult extracurricular activities provided gradual opportunities to get to know people. Reconnect With Old Friends Many people assume reconnecting after years apart would feel awkward, but experts say this fear is usually exaggerated. Krems notes that people often underestimate how happy former friends would be to hear from them again. Edelstein agrees, saying reconnecting rarely feels strange and is usually warmly received. Treat Friendship Like Dating Modern friendship-building increasingly resembles dating. Apps such as Bumble BFF and social events designed for meeting friends provide structured ways to connect with new people. Brown says that even if these approaches feel awkward, it is important not to let discomfort prevent meaningful connection. Most people seeking friendships share the same anxieties. Accept That Friendship Requires Effort One common misconception is that friendships should form naturally and effortlessly. Krems argues this belief may have made sense historically, when people spent their entire lives surrounded by the same small communities. Modern life is different. Today, people often need to deliberately seek opportunities to meet others and actively maintain those relationships afterward. Building a satisfying social life takes time, consistency and patience. But the effort itself becomes an important skill — one that helps people maintain meaningful relationships throughout the constant changes of adult life.

Why Are Adults Celebrating Children’s Day? HuffPost |By Brittany| 473 words The Rise of the Global “Kidult” Culture For generations, Children’s Day was exactly what its name suggested: a holiday dedicated to kids. Today, however, it is increasingly common to see adults buying toys, visiting theme parks, collecting cartoon merchandise, and even joking that they deserve Children’s Day gifts too. What once seemed unusual has become a global trend known as “Kidult” culture. The term “Kidult,” a combination of “kid” and “adult,” refers to grown-ups who actively engage with products, hobbies, and experiences traditionally associated with childhood. According to industry reports, adults have become one of the fastest-growing consumer groups in the global toy market. From LEGO sets and Pokémon cards to designer collectibles such as Labubu dolls, many products are now marketed specifically to adults rather than children. At first glance, the phenomenon may appear to be simple nostalgia. Many adults enjoy reconnecting with the toys, cartoons, and games that shaped their childhoods. Yet psychologists argue that the trend reflects something deeper. In an age marked by economic uncertainty, rising living costs, social pressure, and digital overload, childhood memories often represent a period of safety, comfort, and emotional security. This may explain why adults are increasingly willing to spend money on experiences that evoke a sense of play. Activities once considered childish are now widely accepted as forms of self-care. Mental health experts note that engaging in playful activities can reduce stress, improve mood, and provide a temporary escape from the responsibilities of adult life. In that sense, buying a toy or celebrating Children’s Day is not necessarily an attempt to avoid adulthood but rather a way of coping with it. Social media has also accelerated the rise of Kidult culture. Platforms such as Instagram, TikTok, and Xiaohongshu are filled with videos of adults unboxing collectibles, visiting amusement parks, and showcasing toy collections. These communities help normalize interests that previous generations might have viewed as immature. Instead of hiding their hobbies, many adults now proudly share them online. Critics argue that the trend can encourage excessive consumerism, with some people spending large amounts of money chasing limited-edition collectibles or viral products. Others worry that an obsession with nostalgia may distract people from addressing real-life challenges. These concerns are valid, particularly when leisure activities become compulsive or financially harmful. However, the broader trend suggests a cultural shift in how society defines adulthood. Being an adult no longer means abandoning everything associated with childhood. Rather, it increasingly means balancing responsibility with enjoyment. People can manage careers, pay bills, raise families, and still find joy in toys, cartoons, or a Children’s Day celebration. Perhaps the popularity of Kidult culture reveals something universal. Beneath the pressures of modern life, many adults still long for moments of wonder, imagination, and carefree happiness. Children’s Day may belong to kids by tradition, but its growing appeal among adults suggests that the desire to play never truly disappears.

Weekend lie-ins may boost insulin sensitivity, but too much may backfire The Medical | by Lauren Hardaker | 733 words Is weekday sleep duration linked to changes in insulin sensitivity? A recent study published in the journal Cardiovascular and Metabolic Risk examines the potential benefit of weekend catch-up sleep (WCS). Metabolic syndrome affects about 34% of Americans and 25% of the worldwide population. It includes high blood pressure, impaired glucose tolerance, abdominal obesity, and abnormal blood lipids. The underlying metabolic disruption is insulin resistance (IR), in which tissues respond poorly to normal insulin levels. In the current study, the authors used the estimated glucose disposal rate (eGDR), a measure calculated from waist circumference, hypertension, and glycated hemoglobin. Originally used in diabetes assessment, eGDR is now considered a predictor of IR and mortality associated with metabolic syndrome. Too little sleep results in acute IR due to impairment of neural, endocrine, and immune system homeostasis. Over the long term, inadequate sleep duration is linked to diabetes-associated increases in blood glucose. Modern life is associated with short weekday sleep as the norm. Many people try to compensate with weekend catch-up sleep. Some studies suggest WCS improves metabolic and inflammatory markers, while others indicate that excessive sleep, especially among people already getting enough weekday sleep, may be associated with metabolic dysfunction. Weekday sleep and weekend catch-up patterns The study included 23,475 participants from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (2009–2023). Researchers examined the association between weekday sleep duration and eGDR. Weekend sleep data were available for 10,817 participants, allowing analysis of WCS duration: none, up to one hour, one to two hours, and more than two hours. Statistical models were used to examine nonlinear associations while controlling for demographic and lifestyle factors, including smoking and alcohol consumption. Seven-hour weekday sleep linked to best metabolic markers The median weekday sleep duration was 7.5 hours, increasing to eight hours on weekends. About 48% reported some degree of WCS. Researchers observed an inverted U-shaped relationship between weekday sleep duration and eGDR. The turning point occurred at 7.32 hours of weekday sleep. Below this threshold, each additional hour of sleep was associated with better insulin sensitivity. Beyond 7.32 hours, additional sleep was linked to lower eGDR. Weekend catch-up sleep modified this relationship. Among participants sleeping less than 7.32 hours on weekdays, moderate WCS of up to two hours was associated with higher eGDR compared with no catch-up sleep. However, WCS showed no benefit among people already sleeping at least 7.32 hours during the week. Moderation analysis showed that excessive WCS exceeding two hours weakened the positive association between weekday sleep and metabolic health. Among individuals already sleeping 7.32 hours or more, one to two hours of WCS was associated with lower eGDR than no catch-up sleep. Why sleep affects metabolism Several physiological pathways may explain these findings. Sleep restriction has been linked to changes in leptin and ghrelin signaling, altered sympathetic activity, and disrupted circadian regulation, all of which influence appetite, energy balance, and insulin sensitivity. It may also increase inflammation and interfere with insulin signaling pathways. Restricted sleep is known to disturb cortisol-related circadian rhythms and suppress insulin-mediated metabolic cascades. Insufficient sleep may also reduce energy expenditure or alter appetite regulation, affecting glucose metabolism and contributing to weight gain. Excessive sleep may likewise have adverse metabolic effects. In some cases, it may reflect underlying conditions such as depression, which are associated with inflammation and insulin resistance. Longer sleep durations may also reduce physical activity levels and promote weight gain. Elevated blood glucose levels may themselves disrupt sleep duration, creating a potential feedback loop between abnormal sleep patterns and metabolic dysfunction. The study used a large nationally representative cohort and standardized data collection methods. However, its cross-sectional design cannot establish causality. Sleep data were self-reported, introducing possible recall bias, and residual confounding from unmeasured lifestyle factors may remain. Conclusion The authors state that this is the first study to investigate the relationship between weekday sleep duration, eGDR, and the moderating role of weekend catch-up sleep. Weekday sleep duration was positively associated with eGDR up to 7.32 hours, after which the association became negative. While one to two hours of weekend catch-up sleep appeared beneficial for people sleeping less than 7.32 hours on weekdays, it was associated with poorer metabolic markers among those already getting sufficient weekday sleep. The findings suggest that prioritizing adequate, consistent weekday sleep may be more beneficial than relying on extended weekend catch-up sleep, though further research is needed to clarify the biological mechanisms involved.

The benefits—and dangers—of optimism The Economist |Business |713 words Why you should (almost) always look on the bright side of life It pays to be an optimist. Upbeat types tend to be in better health. A meta-analysis by Alan Rozanski, a cardiologist, and his co-authors found that optimism was associated with a lower risk of cardiovascular events. They also tend to be resilient. Optimists are likely to see setbacks as temporary and attributable to external circumstances, whereas pessimists regard reverses as a verdict on their own enduring weaknesses. Optimists are more likely to rise up organisational ladders as well. In a recent paper Nadine Chochoiek of Munich Business School and her co-authors surveyed founders, bosses and employees in the Netherlands, and found that entrepreneurs and managers are as upbeat as each other. Both are more optimistic than employees. Causality works both ways. Power itself is a source of optimism. It’s easier to feel better about the future if you have an ability to shape it. One reason why bosses have a more positive attitude towards AI than workers is surely that they have more control over what will happen. But optimism also propels people onwards and upwards. Optimists are more likely than pessimists to be entrepreneurs. Low expectations of success and a decision to found a business tend not to go together. Daniel Kahneman, a Nobel-prizewinning psychologist, described “delusional optimism” as an engine of capitalism. Confidence, justified or not, is a big part of why people are chosen for bigger jobs within organisations. The standard psychological test for measuring how optimistic or pessimistic people are is a short questionnaire called the Revised Life Orientation Test, which features statements like “If something can go wrong for me, it will”. Would you follow someone who strongly believes that they are cursed? Optimism can plainly go too far. In an influential paper published in 2007, Manju Puri and David Robinson of Duke University used the gap between individuals’ own longevity expectations and actuarial assumptions as a proxy for people’s level of optimism. They found that extreme optimists were more likely to smoke than moderate optimists, and to keep a great share of their personal wealth in illiquid assets. Within organisations, too, excessive optimism often causes trouble. Unrealistic starting expectations make it more likely that projects will miss budgets and deadlines, for instance. Optimism also makes it less likely that failing projects will be canned; decision-makers have a habit of assuming better outcomes than originally planned to justify ploughing on. A lot depends on the context. “What could possibly go wrong?” sounds much more worrying on the lips of a pilot than a podcaster. A study by Damiano Silipo of the University of Calabria and his co-authors quantified optimism at American banks by looking at how much money they set aside to cover future loan losses. Optimism prevailed among bankers in the run-up to the 2007-09 financial crisis. Then, suddenly, it didn’t. There are plenty of ideas on how to counter optimism bias. Processes can help—in a “pre-mortem”, for example, people deliberately imagine the failure of a proposed initiative and identify the most likely causes. Team composition also matters. A paper by Ulrike Malmendier of the University of California, Berkeley and her co-authors found that overoptimism on the part of the CFO is more predictive than a cocksure CEO when it comes to a preference for debt over equity. But the same paper found that overconfident CEOs tend to hire overconfident CFOs. If it’s optimists all the way down, you have a problem. Yet it is also possible to lean too far in the other direction. In his new book, “The Four Principles”, Adrian Gore, founder of the Discovery Group, a big South African financial-services firm, argues that ingrained pessimism is a widespread problem in business. People are conditioned to look for negative signals, reckons Mr Gore. Explaining why things might go wrong is seen as more sophisticated than believing that things will turn out well. Loss aversion, a strong behavioural bias against giving up what you already have, means that the scales are already tipped against risk-taking. Mr Gore thinks that the trope of learning from failures is overdone; successes teach you more. Performance appraisals ought to focus on putting people in positions that play to their strengths rather than trying to fix their weaknesses. Pessimism has its place, but it is optimism that makes things happen.

Don't feel like exercising? Maybe it's the wrong time of day for you BBC| by Michelle Roberts | 652 words The best workout time may depend less on motivation and more on your body’s natural internal clock. To get the most out of a gym session, fitness class or a run, do it at the time of day that best suits your own natural internal body clock, say health researchers. Early risers or "larks" should exercise in the morning for maximum benefit, while night owls should train in the evening, they suggest. Synchronising exercise in this way could boost heart gains, especially for people already at higher risk of heart disease, according to a new study published in the journal Open Heart. Volunteers who tried it had better sleep, lower blood pressure and healthier blood sugar levels overall. Improvements in fitness Some 134 people in their 40s and 50s in Pakistan took part in the study. None were super fit and had at least one heart risk factor, such as high blood pressure or being overweight. They were asked to do supervised, brisk-walking exercise sessions on a treadmill for 40 minutes a day, five times a week for three months. Based on questionnaires, 70 were classed as morning larks and 64 were night owls. Some did their exercises at times to match their body clock chronotype - the natural predisposition to morning or evening alertness - while others did the opposite. Both groups showed improvements in fitness. But matching exercise with chronotype produced larger health gains in blood pressure, aerobic capacity, metabolic markers and sleep quality. Your internal body clock affects sleep-wake patterns and hormone and energy levels across the day, which, in turn, could influence exercise performance and adherence, explain the researchers. 'Social jetlag' The study authors say the findings suggest a "one-size fits-all" approach to exercise timing is less than ideal. A mismatch between biological and social schedules or "social jetlag" has been linked to increased heart risk. Night owls can be at greater risk of this, they add, meaning they shouldn't force early morning exercise routines. Some gyms now stay open all hours, night and day. Hugh Hanley, Personal Training & Fitness Director at PureGym, says Monday and Tuesday evenings are typical peak busy times but, increasingly, people are spreading out the hours they train. "One thing we have noticed over the last few years is people are actually prioritising their health more, bringing in more flexibility." He says the key to staying fit is consistency - creating a habit of movement, building it into your lifestyle. "Doing it regularly is better than one or two blasts. "We see a lot of the time that people set too big a goal initially. We'd always rather they break it into small bite-sized goals that are achievable." The trend at the moment, he says, is strength training. "We're seeing a big rise... across all generations. The younger generation are definitely prioritising strength training, but even the older demographic." Dr Rajiv Sankaranarayanan of the British Cardiovascular Society, which co-owns the journal the work is published in, said the findings supported a shift towards workouts to suit body clocks, but proposed more studies to confirm this. Dr Nina Rzechorzek, an expert in body rhythms at the University of Cambridge, said while timing may be one factor worth considering, getting enough regular exercise mattered most. Doing a mix of exercise is helpful, evidence suggests, with the NHS recommending strengthening activities at least two days a week and vigorous cardio exercise for at least 75 minutes. Ready to hit the gym morning or night? Strength-training exercises, such as wall squats or holding the plank position, are among the best ways to lower blood pressure. These isometric exercises are designed to build strength without moving muscles or joints. Wall squats involve putting your back against a wall and lowering down into a sitting position using your hips until the thighs are parallel to the ground. The plank involves holding a position similar to a push-up for an extended period to work core abdominal muscles as well as the back, shoulders, arms and glutes.

Can Dating Reality Shows Ever Truly Be Safe? The Guardian | May 26, 2026 | 492 words Reality dating shows raise growing concerns over safety, consent, and the authenticity of televised romance. A recent BBC Panorama investigation has reignited debate about the safety and ethics of dating reality television. The report revealed that two women alleged they were raped by their on-screen “husbands” during the filming of the UK version of Married at First Sight. The women have remained anonymous. A third participant, Shona Manderson, publicly accused her on-screen partner of subjecting her to a non-consensual sexual act. The men involved have denied all allegations. The controversy has raised uncomfortable questions about whether reality dating shows can genuinely protect contestants when strangers are pushed into emotionally intense situations for entertainment. Speaking on The Guardian podcast, investigations correspondent Sirin Kale argued that the structure of these programs may itself create unsafe conditions. Contestants are often asked to live together, sleep in the same bed, and rapidly form intimate relationships under constant filming pressure. Kale pointed out that conflict is not an accident in these shows — it is often part of the formula. Producers may intentionally pair people with incompatible personalities because arguments, heartbreak, and emotional breakdowns attract viewers. “You want one or two people to fall in love,” she explained, “but you want the rest of them to fight, otherwise the show is boring.” Channel 4 announced that it had commissioned an external review into participant welfare after the allegations surfaced. Production company CPL Productions defended its practices, saying its welfare systems are “industry-leading” and that it responded appropriately in each case. The scandal has also sparked wider discussion online about whether reality dating shows are actually a reliable way to find love. Programs such as Love Island, Too Hot to Handle, and Married at First Sight often market themselves as social experiments designed to help singles build genuine relationships. However, critics argue that the primary goal is not romance but ratings. Many contestants join these programs hoping for love, but also aware that appearing on television can bring fame, sponsorship deals, and social media followers. As a result, some viewers question how authentic the relationships really are. Studies and media reports have shown that only a small percentage of couples formed on reality dating shows remain together long-term after filming ends. Mental health experts have also warned that the environment of reality TV can intensify emotional stress. Contestants face public judgment, online harassment, and the pressure of performing for cameras while navigating vulnerable relationships. Even after the shows air, many struggle with sudden internet fame and criticism. Supporters of these programs argue that genuine relationships can still emerge despite the pressures. A few couples from dating shows have gone on to marry and start families. Yet the recent allegations suggest that stronger safeguards, clearer consent rules, and better psychological support may be necessary if such shows want to balance entertainment with participant safety. As reality dating programs continue to dominate streaming platforms and social media conversations, the question remains: can a format built on drama ever fully protect the people at its center?

Is It Bad to Use a Laptop Right on Your Lap? TIME | May 21, 2026 | 675 words Excessive laptop use may quietly affect fertility, posture and long-term comfort more than most people realize. The laptop computer is one of the most intimate machines we own. Some of us let it rest on our bodies and hum against our thighs for hours. Occasionally, though, we wonder if our plastic and metal companion will betray us. Might its invisible energy and heat be doing something to our health? Research has dispelled many concerns about laptops, while other risks appear to be more credible. Laptop is a strange name for a device you may want to distance from your lap, but experts point to certain risks and ways to avoid them. Cancer risk Research has not turned up convincing evidence that using a laptop directly on your lap could cause cancer. The main reason for reassurance is that laptops rely on a non-ionizing form of radiation at low energy, including the radiofrequency electromagnetic fields used for Wi-Fi and Bluetooth. This radiation is too weak to damage DNA directly. “There is no established mechanism” for laptops to cause cancer, says Maria Feychting, a cancer epidemiologist at Karolinska Institute in Stockholm. Experts compare laptops to other low-energy devices like microwaves and cell phones. In a recent package of studies commissioned by the World Health Organization, researchers found very little evidence that high exposure to cell phones leads to cancer. Overall, the research showed no major health risks from non-ionizing radiation. Few studies have focused specifically on laptops. But experts note that if cell phones are considered relatively safe, that bodes well for laptops, since phones usually produce greater exposure because many people keep them close to the body for long periods. Some urologic cancers have become more common in recent decades as laptop usage has increased. But experts stress that correlation does not prove causation. “Many things have changed in society,” Feychting says. “Rising incidence doesn’t mean laptops are the problem.” Reproductive health risk Another concern is fertility. There is evidence that heat from laptops can temporarily affect sperm quality, says Jesse Mills, clinical professor of urology at UCLA’s David Geffen School of Medicine. The problem is mainly the heat produced by the laptop’s battery, especially while charging. Sperm function best at temperatures slightly cooler than the rest of the body. Studies have shown that when a laptop sits directly on the lap, sperm temperature can rise noticeably, especially during prolonged exposure. These effects may contribute to reduced sperm motility. In his practice, Mills says he often sees patients with low sperm motility who are sedentary and frequently use laptops directly on their laps. Direct heat from laptops is much less likely to affect female reproduction because the ovaries and uterus are protected by layers of muscle and tissue. The good news is that the damage appears reversible. Because sperm have a life cycle of roughly 60 to 70 days, avoiding direct laptop exposure during that period may allow healthier sperm to replace heat-stressed ones. What to do Creating distance between your body and the laptop is a simple solution. Mills keeps his laptop mounted on a stand more than two feet away from his lap. If you must use a laptop on your lap, experts recommend using a lap desk or other buffer. More effective options include placing the computer on a regular desk, using cooling fans, or adjusting the computer’s thermal settings. Experts also warn that the larger issue may not be the laptop itself, but the sedentary lifestyle associated with long hours of sitting. Being highly sedentary is linked to poorer metabolic health, which may affect fertility in both men and women. Compared with laptop exposure, unhealthy lifestyle habits are considered “more plausible explanations” for rising fertility problems and some health issues. Sitting with a laptop on your lap for long periods can also cause back, neck, and musculoskeletal problems. Standing desks and walking breaks may help reduce these risks. For couples trying to conceive, experts say one of the best strategies is simple: spend less time sitting and more time moving. Regular exercise, walks, and physical activity improve overall health far more effectively than worrying about laptop radiation alone.

Strategies to Improve Your Self-Worth Psychology Today | by Tffiny Haupt| 471 words Loving yourself is critical to living a fulfilling life. Loving yourself and believing in your personal worth is critical to living a fulfilling life. Self-worth affects how we approach relationships, complete tasks, face challenges, and maintain our mental health. Unlike self-esteem, which often depends on external success, self-worth comes from within. It provides an intrinsic sense of value that forms the foundation for personal growth. In the 1960s, psychiatrist Aaron Beck developed the concept of core beliefs, which later became central to cognitive behavioral therapy. He argued that our sense of worth begins developing in childhood. As children, we absorb beliefs about ourselves—such as “I’m not good enough” or “I’m lazy”—that can shape our life satisfaction, relationships, and mental health. Recognizing these beliefs is the first step toward changing them and building greater self-love. Know Your Strengths Take time to identify what you enjoy and what you do well. Whether it’s networking at work or making ceramics at home, intentionally engage in activities that highlight your abilities. Regularly acknowledging your strengths reminds you of the value you bring. Reward Yourself When you accomplish something, reinforce your effort instead of waiting for outside praise. Celebrate with a small treat, write an affirmation, or simply pause to recognize your success. By doing so, you show yourself that your achievements matter and that your worth is not dependent on others’ approval. Your brain is always listening to how you talk to yourself. Harsh self-criticism strengthens negative beliefs, while supportive language builds resilience. Ask yourself whether you would speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself. Replace thoughts like “That was so stupid” with “I did my best” or “I tried hard.” Avoid Rigid Thinking Life is rarely black and white. Words like “should” and “must” can trap you in unrealistic expectations. Practice forgiving yourself when things do not go as planned. Balance critical thoughts with more neutral or encouraging ones. For example, instead of “I can’t do this,” say, “This is difficult, but I can work through it.” Our brains are naturally more sensitive to criticism than praise, which can lead us to interpret neutral comments as confirmation of our worst beliefs. Remember that neutral feedback is simply neutral. With practice, you may discover that others provide far less evidence against you than you assume. Be the Main Character in Your Life Healthy self-worth means recognizing that your needs and dreams matter. If you constantly place others’ priorities above your own, you risk diminishing your sense of value. Taking a leading role in your own life reinforces the belief that you are worthy of attention, care, and fulfillment. Developing self-worth can feel challenging, especially when negative core beliefs have been present since childhood. But practicing these strategies consistently can help dismantle those barriers. Over time, they can strengthen the understanding that you are valuable, worthy, and deserving of a meaningful life.

Does acupuncture work? The Economist | Science & technology | 530 words It seems useful for pain. The jury’s out on everything else. Acupuncture, a Chinese practice thought to be around 3,000 years old, involves sticking needles into certain points on the body in order to promote the proper flow of qi, the body’s vital energy. Although long pooh-poohed by Western medicine, its popularity continues to rise. Models and influencers tout its anti-ageing effects, and athletes including Serena Williams, a former tennis pro, and Tom Brady, a retired American football player, claim the needles have helped them with muscle recovery. Today acupuncture is used to alleviate ailments ranging from anxiety and asthma to infertility and irritable bowel syndrome. But does it do any good? On some fronts, the evidence in favour is strong. In 2018 a study in the Journal of Pain analysed the results of 39 randomised trials on 20,827 patients with shoulder pain, chronic musculoskeletal pain, headaches or osteoarthritis. All the patients had undergone either traditional acupuncture, sham acupuncture (a range of placebo controls including the shallow insertion of needles) or no acupuncture at all. When patients assessed their symptoms more than four weeks after initial treatment, acupuncture users reported less pain then those in the other groups. The benefits had not faded by much a year later. Other studies conducted since then have supported these findings. But how might acupuncture achieve these results? Helene Langevin, retired director of the National Centre for Complementary and Integrative Health at America’s National Institutes of Health (NIH), has a theory. Her research suggests the needles twist strands of connective tissue known as fascia, which in turn pull on nerve endings in a way that might reduce pain. Some of the positive effects, however, might be due to the brain’s astonishing power to reduce pain when it believes a genuine intervention is being conducted. The more serious the apparent intervention, the greater this placebo response can be. A paper published in JAMA Internal Medicine in 2020, for example, found no significant difference in pain relief between true and sham acupuncture. For Edzard Ernst, an emeritus professor at the University of Exeter who specialises in the study of complementary and alternative medicine, “it is worth remembering that we don’t need a placebo to generate placebo effects—any therapy comes automatically with a placebo effect.” For now, it is hard to identify how much of the benefits of acupuncture may arise in this way. Beyond pain management, the benefits are less clear. A review published in Complementary Therapies in Medicine in 2022 (written by practising acupuncturists and funded by the International Society of Chinese Medicine) analysed 862 systematic reviews and meta-analyses. It found that acupuncture could reduce post-operative nausea about as well as some antiemetics. It also found benefits for migraines and tension headaches, cancer-related fatigue, female infertility (when used in addition to medical reproductive treatment) and chronic pelvic pain in men. But trials for 86 other conditions, including factors associated with muscle recovery, have not been sufficiently robust to demonstrate any positive effects, while for another six ailments no effect was found. The balance of evidence means that acupuncture remains a reasonable intervention for chronic pain, particularly because it has far fewer side-effects than most drugs. But for everything else, the effects are hard to pin down.

Arts and cultural engagement ‘linked to slower pace of biological ageing’ The Guardian | by Denis Campbell | 746 words Research from UCL suggests visiting art galleries or museums, singing and painting can help improve health outcomes Singing, painting or visiting a gallery or museum helps people age more slowly, according to the latest study to link taking an active interest in art and culture with improved health. The findings are the first to show that both participating in arts activities and attending events, such as viewing an exhibition, lead to people staying biologically younger. “These results demonstrate the health impact of the arts at a biological level. They provide evidence for arts and cultural engagement to be recognised as a health-promoting behaviour in a similar way to exercise,” said Prof Daisy Fancourt, the lead author of the research and the head of the social biobehavioural research group at University College London. However, slower ageing does not necessarily mean someone will live longer. The “epigenetic clocks” used in the study to assess biological ageing are predictive of future morbidity and mortality, and previous studies have suggested a link between arts engagement and longer lifespan, but much more research would be needed to establish potential causal effects on longevity. Those who take part in artistic pursuits the most often slow the pace of their biological ageing the most. Under one of the study’s methods of assessment, those who did so at least weekly slowed their ageing process by 4%, while monthly engagement led to it slowing by 3%. Similarly, another of the tests showed that those who undertook an arts activity at least once a week were on average a year younger biologically than those who rarely engaged in such pursuits. Those who exercised once a week were only six months younger by that measure. The benefit the arts confer on the pace at which people age is so dramatic that it is comparable to the difference between smokers and those who have given up smoking, the researchers say. “Our study provides the first evidence that arts and cultural engagement is linked to a slower pace of biological ageing,” said Dr Feifei Bu, a senior author and also a UCL academic. “This builds on a growing body of evidence about the health impact of the arts, with arts activities being shown to reduce stress, lower inflammation and improve cardiovascular disease risk, just as exercise is known to do.” The results, published in the journal Innovation in Aging, are based on blood test and survey response data from 3,556 adults taking part in the UK Household Longitudinal Study. It uses blood samples to estimate people’s biological age and the pace at which they are ageing. Participants were asked how often over the last year they had taken part in singing, dancing, painting, photography or crafting, or had attended an art exhibition or event, visited a heritage site such as a monument or historic building or park, or been to a museum, library or archive. “Many of us know instinctively that taking part in creative and cultural activities is vital for a happy, flourishing life,” said Hollie Smith-Charles, the director of creative health and change programmes at Arts Council England. “These impressive new findings are further evidence that arts, museums and libraries help us live well for longer, and demonstrate how vital it is that everyone, everywhere has access to excellent and affordable culture on their doorstep.” Evidence is emerging that the arts can improve both mental and physical health. In 2019 the World Health Organization published a report, by Fancourt and Saoirse Finn, which highlighted initiatives such as playing music to patients before surgery and using the arts with people with dementia. In the latest study, the middle-aged and older adults aged 40 or above received the biggest boost to the pace at which they aged as a result of taking part in the arts. “Across the arts sector we have known for a long time that getting creative yields extraordinary benefits for our health, and this latest research adds a vital new piece to the puzzle, proving that arts and culture can even slow down the biological clock,” said Mark Ball, the artistic director of the Southbank Centre, a multi-arts venue in London. The Southbank complex was born in 1951 out of the Festival of Britain. Its description as “a tonic for the nation” was not a coincidence, Ball said. “It was an explicit recognition that, after the destruction and gloom of the second world war, the country needed to be convened through the arts to find a sense of optimism and healing. That sentiment is enduring and is needed now, more than ever.”

Snacks That Cause Your Face to Bloat — and Foods to Eat Instead Healthline | by Emilia Benton | 678 words Eating foods high in salt and refined carbohydrates can cause your face to bloat the next morning. Have you ever woken up after a night out, looked in the mirror, and noticed your face looks unusually puffy? While bloating is often associated with the stomach, certain foods can also cause water retention in the face, making it appear swollen or “puffy” the next day. Experts say this effect is often linked to foods high in sodium, refined carbohydrates, and additives like monosodium glutamate (MSG). According to registered dietitian Starla Garcia and dermatologist Rebecca Baxt, these ingredients can disrupt your body’s fluid balance, causing it to hold onto extra water. After a salty meal, your body tries to restore balance by retaining water, which may show up in areas like the cheeks, under the eyes, and jawline. This is sometimes jokingly called “sushi face,” a term used to describe puffiness after eating high-sodium meals like ramen, pizza, or soy-sauce-heavy dishes. Facial bloating is temporary but can be noticeable, especially after eating processed or restaurant foods late at night. Foods most likely to cause facial puffiness High-sodium and highly processed foods are the main culprits. Common examples include ramen, processed meats like bacon and salami, chips, fries, pretzels, cheese, alcohol, and sauces such as soy or teriyaki. Refined carbs like white bread and pasta can also contribute by increasing water retention. Dietitians suggest limiting these foods before events where you want to look your best, as even a single high-sodium meal can cause next-day puffiness. Why it happens When you consume excess salt or refined carbs, your body holds onto water to dilute sodium levels in the bloodstream. This fluid shift can make the face appear swollen. MSG may also intensify this effect in some people, though sensitivity varies. While there’s no instant fix, the puffiness usually resolves within a day once the body restores balance. Foods that may help reduce bloating Instead of heavily processed snacks, choosing whole, nutrient-dense foods can help reduce water retention and support digestion. Fruits and vegetables are naturally low in sodium and high in fiber and water content. Options like berries, cucumbers, bell peppers, and leafy greens help keep you hydrated and support digestion. Their fiber content also promotes fullness, reducing the urge to snack on salty or sugary foods. While some dairy products may cause bloating, yogurt—especially low-sugar varieties with live cultures—can support gut health. Greek yogurt with berries is a good alternative to ice cream, offering protein, probiotics, and key nutrients like calcium and potassium. Fermented foods such as kefir, kimchi, sauerkraut, kombucha, and natto contain beneficial bacteria that may improve gut balance. A healthier gut can help reduce overall bloating, which may also reduce facial puffiness over time. Whole grains like quinoa, amaranth, and whole-wheat bread provide more fiber and nutrients than refined grains. Swapping white bread, pasta, or sugary snacks for whole-grain options may help stabilize digestion and reduce inflammation linked to bloating. Stay hydrated Drinking enough water helps the body regulate sodium levels and reduce water retention. While needs vary, consistent hydration throughout the day—rather than large amounts at once—can help minimize puffiness. Choosing water over soda or alcohol can also make a noticeable difference. Quick ways to reduce puffiness If you need fast results, several simple methods may help temporarily reduce facial bloating. Cold water splashing can constrict blood vessels and reduce swelling. Light exercise, such as a morning walk or run, may help move excess fluid through the body. Some people also use facial massage tools like jade rollers or try facial exercises to stimulate circulation. Reducing late-night salty meals and reviewing your overall diet can also make a difference over time. Takeaway Facial bloating is usually temporary and related to diet, especially high-sodium and processed foods. While it is not medically dangerous, it can be uncomfortable or affect appearance. If bloating is frequent or accompanied by other symptoms like hives or stomach pain, it may be worth consulting a healthcare professional to rule out allergies or digestive issues. In most cases, choosing fresh, whole foods and staying hydrated is the simplest way to reduce next-day puffiness and help your face look less swollen.

What is cortisol—and should you actually be worried about it? TIME | By Angela Haupt| 654 words | ★★★☆☆ Myths about cortisol—also known as the “stress hormone”—abound on social media. Here’s what experts say about this substance that helps make your body tick. You know the feeling: your body is drained, your eyes are heavy, but the moment your head hits the pillow, your mind starts racing. You’re clearly tired, yet sleep feels impossible. In many cases, the culprit may be cortisol, the hormone best known for helping the body respond to stress. Cortisol is often called the “stress hormone,” but that nickname only tells part of the story. Produced by the adrenal glands above the kidneys, cortisol is essential for life. It helps regulate metabolism, immune function, inflammation, blood sugar, and the sleep-wake cycle. “Honestly, we cannot do without it,” says Dr. Anat Ben-Shlomo, an endocrinologist and associate professor of medicine at Cedars-Sinai. Under normal circumstances, cortisol follows a daily rhythm. Levels peak in the early morning, helping us wake up and feel alert, then gradually decline throughout the day, reaching their lowest point at night so the body can rest. Problems arise when stress keeps cortisol elevated into the evening. When the body perceives a threat—whether physical, emotional, or psychological—the nervous system activates a chain of hormonal responses, including the release of cortisol. This response is useful in emergencies because it provides energy and sharpens focus. But when stress becomes chronic, the body may remain in a prolonged state of alertness. This is why people often feel “wired but tired.” They may be physically exhausted, but elevated cortisol keeps the brain vigilant, making it difficult to relax and fall asleep. High nighttime cortisol can also cause frequent awakenings and lighter, less restorative sleep. Sleep and cortisol are closely linked. Poor sleep raises cortisol levels, and high cortisol further disrupts sleep, creating a vicious cycle. According to experts, this cycle can affect memory, mood, and overall health. Cortisol has become a popular topic on social media, where it is blamed for everything from weight gain to fatigue and anxiety. Some influencers claim that chronic stress causes “adrenal fatigue,” a condition in which the adrenal glands supposedly become too exhausted to produce enough cortisol. However, endocrinologists say adrenal fatigue is not a recognized medical diagnosis. A 2016 review of scientific studies found no evidence that the condition exists. Dr. Anne Cappola of the University of Pennsylvania notes that the adrenal glands have significant reserve capacity and rarely “burn out.” That does not mean cortisol disorders are imaginary. Rare but serious conditions do occur. Too much cortisol can result in Cushing’s syndrome, often caused by tumors affecting hormone production. Symptoms may include weight gain, muscle weakness, bruising, and blood sugar problems. Too little cortisol can lead to Addison’s disease, an autoimmune disorder in which the body attacks the adrenal glands. Symptoms include severe fatigue, dizziness, appetite loss, and darkening of the skin. Although these disorders are uncommon, their symptoms overlap with more familiar problems such as anxiety, perimenopause, and sleep deprivation. For persistent symptoms, doctors recommend medical evaluation rather than self-diagnosis or unproven supplements. Even without a medical disorder, chronic stress has real health consequences. Research links prolonged stress to depression, obesity, cardiovascular disease, and stroke. High cortisol over time may contribute to inflammation, impaired immunity, and cognitive difficulties. The good news is that lifestyle habits can help regulate the body’s stress response. Specialists recommend regular exercise, balanced nutrition, mindfulness or meditation, and consistent sleep schedules. Reducing caffeine late in the day, limiting screen exposure before bed, and practicing relaxation techniques can also help lower evening cortisol. In other words, if you feel completely exhausted but still can’t fall asleep, your body may be signaling that stress—not lack of tiredness—is keeping you awake. Cortisol is not the enemy. It is one of the body’s most important survival tools. But when stress keeps this system switched on at the wrong time, it can leave us trapped in a state of fatigue and sleeplessness. As Dr. Ben-Shlomo puts it, the adrenal glands are remarkably resilient. The real challenge is learning how to calm the stress that keeps them working overtime.

The surprising public health benefit of unemployment Financial Times| By Roula Khalaf | 658 words | ★★★☆☆ A new study suggests cleaner air during recessions may save lives, revealing the hidden health costs of everyday pollution. Here’s a discovery to bring you up short: unemployment is good for you. Really? Well, no, not really. But a new research paper has found a correlation that points in that direction: more unemployment, fewer deaths. Underneath lies something real, shocking and yet somehow inspiring. First, let’s unpack the research, conducted by economists Amy Finkelstein, Matthew Notowidigdo, Frank Schilbach and Jonathan Zhang. They examine the impact of the Great Recession of 2007-09 on death rates in different parts of the US, some of which suffered sharper increases in unemployment than others. They discover this striking correlation: when the unemployment rate rises by one percentage point in one of the US’s 741 city regions or “commuting zones”, the mortality rate in that area falls by 0.5 per cent. This benefit persists for at least a decade and is spread evenly across the age distribution, although the elderly enjoyed the largest benefit in absolute terms. Given that the Great Recession pushed unemployment rates up by nearly five percentage points, that suggests that mortality rates were reduced by more than 2 per cent as a result of the downturn. As the researchers put it, “these estimates imply that The Great Recession provided one in twenty-five 55-year-olds with an extra year of life.” These are huge effects. What might explain them? There is no shortage of theories: recessions take people from low-quality, high-stress jobs; people who lose their jobs tend to smoke less, eat less fast food and have more time to exercise; recessions may reduce the spread of transmissible diseases. But Finkelstein and her co-authors find scant evidence for most of these explanations. Instead, they point to air pollution. The air becomes cleaner in areas where the economy slumps. The researchers estimate that this cleaner air accounts for more than one-third of the mortality reduction. This may come as a surprise, because we are not accustomed to regarding air pollution as a problem for rich countries. Yet air pollution increases the risk of both respiratory and cardiovascular disease, and the global number of deaths caused by air pollution is estimated by both the World Health Organization and the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation to be around seven million people a year, nearly as much as the death toll from smoking. In the US, the death toll from air pollution is often estimated to be about 100,000 people a year. What makes the study so shocking is that the researchers were not examining the effect of a dramatic shutdown caused by a lockdown or natural disaster. This was merely a recession, albeit a severe one. Most people kept their jobs, and everyday life seemed largely unchanged. And yet pollution from sources such as traffic fell enough to produce a substantial and lasting drop in the death rate. One response to this discovery is to join the “degrowth” movement calling for curbs on economic activity. But this would be both politically unrealistic and unwise. We know that rich countries enjoy cleaner air than middle-income countries, and other research suggests that recessions can do lasting harm to young people who graduate during economic downturns. Above all, we know there are easier ways to reduce air pollution than enduring a severe recession. Start by replacing diesel cars with electric vehicles, gas stoves with induction hobs, and gas boilers with heat pumps. These technologies move combustion—and thus pollution—away from where people live. Generate the electricity for these new appliances from nuclear or renewable sources, and the pollution is largely eliminated. Better technology and smarter regulations can do more for air quality than the worst recession imaginable, and at relatively low cost. As Chris Goodall explains in his book Possible: Ways to Net Zero, removing fossil fuels from our energy system is technologically feasible, though challenging. We should take heart from the fact that these efforts to fight climate change will also deliver large and immediate improvements in our everyday health. No Great Recession is required.

The Young and the Dateless: Why Gen Z, Millennial Men Aren’t Approaching Women Anymore The New York Post |By Asia Grace | 624 words | ★★★☆☆ As fear of seeming creepy grows, many young men are stepping back from approaching women, reshaping the rules of modern dating. Like many young American men, Ryan Kessler, 28, admits he is nervous about approaching women in person. The problem, he says, is not a lack of confidence but a fear of being seen as pushy or creepy. “I never want to make the other person feel uncomfortable,” the Manhattan cybersecurity analyst told The New York Post. “Some girls don’t want to be approached at all, so I’m always trying to err on the side of caution.” As a result, Kessler says his face-to-face interactions with women are limited, even though he hopes to find a serious relationship. He feels much more comfortable using dating apps such as Bumble and Hinge, where people are explicitly open to meeting someone. “A lot of the time, in person, women are not there to be approached,” he said. “So it feels kind of odd.” His concerns reflect a broader trend. A 2025 survey found that nearly half of single American men experience “approach anxiety.” Among 1,000 men surveyed, 44% said the fear of being labeled “creepy” made them less likely to initiate contact with women. This hesitation contrasts with what many women say they want. According to the same report, 77% of women aged 18 to 30 and 68% of women aged 30 to 40 said they wished men would approach them more often. Liv, a woman in her twenties from Long Island, said she admires men who politely introduce themselves. “It’s so admirable, in this day and age, to actually have the nerve and the confidence to go and do that,” she said in a social media video. At the same time, many women stress that respectful behavior is essential. Lifestyle creator Viv said some men continue pursuing women even after receiving a polite rejection, sometimes escalating into harassment. “I’ve had men follow me,” she said. “I’ve had a man grab me.” Connell Barrett, a dating coach based in New York City, says the issue is not that women oppose being approached, but that they want to be treated with respect. “Women aren’t saying, ‘Don’t come talk to us,’” Barrett said. “They’re saying, ‘Don’t objectify, harass or disrespect us.’” He encourages men to adopt a healthier mindset. “You’re looking for love, which is very human,” he said. “It’s OK to say hello to women, as long as you do it with empathy and charm.” Still, not all men feel the effort is worthwhile. Grant Greenly, 24, says repeated negative experiences have led him to stop approaching women altogether. After being dismissed by women at a club, he concluded that modern dating is too discouraging. “Approaching women today isn’t worth the hassle,” he said. Greenly believes social media has intensified the pressure, making some men fear they could be mocked online simply for asking someone out. As a result, he argues that women should be more willing to make the first move. “I don’t see anything wrong with women approaching men for dates,” he said. Levi McCachen agrees. The 37-year-old said he recently enjoyed being approached by a woman and believes more women should take the initiative. “If you say anything to a guy you think is cute, he’s going to be impressed by your boldness,” he said. McCachen has even urged men to stop making the first move entirely, arguing that dating norms should evolve to reflect modern ideas about equality. Together, these experiences suggest that the rules of dating are changing. Many men remain interested in finding love, but concerns about rejection, social judgment and misunderstanding have made them more cautious. At the same time, many women say they still welcome genuine, respectful approaches. For both sides, the challenge may be learning how to navigate a dating landscape where confidence and courtesy matter more than ever.

Chinese tourists flock to Teochew sites after indie film becomes surprise hit Variety | By Naman Ramachandran| 538 words | ★★☆☆☆ Made on a shoestring budget, the hit drama Dear You has triggered a surge of interest in the history of southern China’s Teochew diaspora Made for roughly the price of a single scene in a Hollywood blockbuster and filmed entirely in a southern Chinese dialect, the drama Dear You does not have the hallmarks of a box office hit. But the independent film has unexpectedly become a sensation in China, receiving stellar reviews and sparking a wave of tourism to the small corner of southern Guangdong province where it is largely set. Produced on a shoestring budget of just 10 million yuan (US$1.5 million), Dear You has already grossed more than 200 million yuan in China since its release on May 3. It is projected to eventually take about 800 million yuan – a record for a dialect film in the country – and is set to be screened at the Cannes Film Festival on May 15. The film appears to have struck a chord in China – where young people are increasingly captivated by regional culture – by exploring the history of Chaoshan, a cluster of coastal districts in eastern Guangdong known for its distinct cuisine, teahouses and rich diaspora heritage. From the 1800s, generations of Chaoshan people – also known as Teochew – left their homes in this historically poor corner of China to seek their fortunes across Southeast Asia and beyond – in Penang, Singapore and the United States. Famous for their clan-based culture, they formed tight-knit communities wherever they settled. Dear You spans Chaoshan and Thailand, following a grandson’s search for his family history by tracing letters sent home decades ago. As he pieces together his grandfather’s story, the film explores the wider history of the great “South Seas”, or Nanyang, migration of the 1800s, when millions of economic migrants fled southern China. The production has earned rave reviews. On Douban, China’s answer to the film review platform IMDb, it has a score of 9.1 – one of the highest ratings for a release this year. It has also become a talking point on social media among overseas Chinese communities, particularly in Southeast Asia. For many, Dear You’s success reflects a wider shift in China’s consumer market, as young people become increasingly interested in exploring and celebrating local culture and traditions. A string of films, television shows and even video games have tapped into this trend in recent years, often sparking a flood of visitors to far-flung parts of China – such as Altay, an ethnic Kazakh enclave in China’s western Xinjiang region, which formed the backdrop to the hit 2024 miniseries To the Wonder. Now, travellers are flocking to filming locations across Chaoshan used in Dear You, turning historic arcade streets and ancestral mansions into new hotspots. “We’ve had a lot of bookings after people watched the film. Some clients told us their relatives in the US and Southeast Asia are also discussing it and planning to visit later this year,” said Janet Zhou, a sales manager at a travel agency in Shantou, a city in Chaoshan. Colly Fang, a film-goer in Hong Kong, said Dear You had also made her more interested in visiting the region. “Local folklore and culture have become a huge draw for young people lately,” she said. “This film made my friends and me want to explore these smaller cities in Guangdong.”